Another Mini-Vacation at DF Done!

Another mini-trip to Dana Farber is wrapping up, hopefully.
I’m always skeptical about announcing that I am going to be discharged. There are too many variables in the process, too many “what ifs,” and too many possible problems that could occur between when I receive word that my discharge plan is for today and when I actually, physically walk or wheel out the door into independent territory.
I am finally at a place where I am no longer scrambling for the door, rushing discharge.
I’m accepting my surroundings and enjoying them as much as possible.
The staff here at Brigham and Womans, where the inpatients sent by Dana Farber are housed, and the team from Dana Farber have been fabulous and have done all they could to make the stay as smooth as possible.
They have worked hard and well together to collaborate for my needs, such as the many, many medications I take to symptomatically control my graft vs. host.
These are sometimes notoriously difficult to get from the pharmacy and it does require some patience on the patient’s part. My restasis, the cyclosporine drops for my eyes, the decadron mouth wash, and the bentomycin lotion were all part of the problem meds.
I shouldn’t even call them “problem meds” though, since they are as needed medications to help me continue to be as comfortable as possible in the management of my post transplant GVHD.
Everybody has worked so well with me, helping me to obtain all the medications necessary for my comfort, but also in working slowly, patiently, with me towards eating again at a pace guided by signals sent from my body.
Again, we are all not sure exactly what the problem I was admitted for was. It is being labeled a gastroenteritis.
I received levaquin (an antibiotic) intravenously for the infection I definitely had, since I spiked a fever of 101.6 as one of my presenting symptoms.
It is a possibility, and what we’re assuming, is that the major breach of my diet by deciding to include a McDonald’s crispy chicken ranch BLT with a full large order of fries and some left over (but within the general safe time limits for seafood, 24 hours) seafood chowder was probably a little too much fat for my liver, and body, to handle and digest.
One of the theories behind my strict diet is to protect my liver from having to do anymore work than necessary during the breakdown process.
The breakdown process includes “enzymes,” which play the primary role in dismantling the food into it’s different purposes.
However, without using these enzymes consistently, theoretically your body starts to do away with them all together.
The body, the all-time, super power machine, evolves realizing that things such as, in my incidence, processed foods, excessive fats, red meats, dairy, heavy creams, etc., are no longer being ingested and no longer need to be digested so the enzymes disappear.
This is why vegetarians may feel sick after their first bite of a hamburger. Their body has purposely forgotten how to break down the food, and this causes the person to feel ill, wanting to get rid of what the body feels is now a nasty, foreign substance.
I think this might have happened to me. I decided to have a diet cheat day in a big way and my body decided to revolt in a big way and say “hell no, that does not belong in here.”
My body said it loud and clear with sweats, fever, vomiting, and severe abdominal pain.
It is all part of this great nutritional theory though. Whatever I’m doing seems to be working. My body is rejecting unnatural food with violent reactions to keep me in line.
Scientifically, my liver enzymes have normalized!!
Here is a possible, proven, scientific reasoning for the decline in my liver enzymes to normal levels: it could be the prednisone working its magic.
With my graft vs. host disease more undercontrol, the pressure on my liver to perform is not causing the dire stress that resulted in the increases of the enzymes.
However, I have been giving my liver a lot of love.
I am using acupressure and chiropractic to gently guide my liver into functioning at it’s maximum healthy capacity with the assistance of Dr. Klemas at Charlestown Family Chiropractic.
I missed my weekly appointment due to the sudden hospitalization. I’ll be calling to make it up.
I massage a space at the base of my neck. Along with all the scientific areas of studies that have interested me throughout my life is that of phrenology.
Phrenology is the study of reading heads. It states that the shape of a person’s head can give great insights into their personalities.
Believe me, this is just plain old fun knowledge to have when you need to spend time in the cancer center where bald head after bald head passes you by.
I’ve thought on many occasions how much fun it would be to have a phrenologist hang out by the waiting room so patients can consult them while in between appointments.
Some people get their palms read, sometime massages are available, I say bring on the head reading.
And yes, I studied this long almost lost science/art since junior high as part of my understanding anatomy for art phase.
Now, I rub a special area at the base of my skull to stimulate the liver.
I’m just giving my liver some much deserved love. It’s a resilient organ, but in my case it needs all the help it can get.
Yesterday, I was finally able to ease some food in, starting with fruit juice and broth (clear liquids) which did incite some nausea that had to be treated.
I stepped back. Took a nap. Did some work. Enjoyed great company. Thanks for visiting Heather and Killy! I’m lucky to have you near by.
Also Carol Orichio, the stem cell transplant inpatient case manager stopped by. It was exciting to see her again. She’d apparently googled herself during a period of her own recovery and found her name on my blog!
I was worried I was in trouble for a second, but couldn’t imagine I had said anything negative. She was featured in a posting regarding how patients can access services when first coming to Dana Farber for treatment.
She came with a great poster outlining the role of case manager and the roles of all other professionals within the hospital and how they intertwine for collaboration.
She certainly did a fabulous job, and if I didn’t say it before, I’m saying it now, The Transplant Team here is lucky to have her.
Hopefully, at some point, I will be in a position to work alongside her and the others who have treated me so well.
That, of course, will only happen after I’ve completed my own medical journey (or Germany) into a lasting remission.
At least for now hopefully I can be used as a guidebook patient case study. I hope I still have that too offer.
The plan for today is to relax, continue eating gentle healthy foods, like a garden salad, fresh fruits, a turkey wrap with lettuce, tomato, and hummus with lots of water and cranberry juice to drink.
I’m keeping the gingerale close by my side too.
Then Melissa and Dr. Alyea will swing by to see me so I will not have to go to our previously scheduled appointment tomorrow, and life will return to my own personal normal again.

Hodger On The Run

This story is very saddening to me and exemplifies the fear that exists in people regarding treatment of cancer, specifically in this case Hodgkin's lymphoma.
My case of my resistant Hodgkin's lymphoma is rare. The cure rate for the disease is 90%. Seventy-five percent of the time Hodgkin's is cured with a simple round of standard ABVD.
Any diagnosis of cancer is scary and daunting.
Please read how it has affected one family in The United States: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30824587/?GT1=43001
I have also copied the text below for your perusal:
NEW ULM, Minn. - The man authorities believe could be with a Minnesota teenager who ran away to avoid chemotherapy did the same thing more than a decade ago in Massachusetts.

Officials believe Billy Joe Best could be traveling with 13-year-old Daniel Hauser and his mother. The Hausers allegedly fled New Ulm, Minn., after a court-ordered medical exam showed his Hodgkin’s lymphoma had worsened.

In 1994, 16-year-old Best ran away to avoid having more chemotherapy to fight his Hodgkin’s disease. He returned after three weeks in Houston when his parents promised they would not force him to have the treatments.

Best has claimed his cancer was cured by natural remedies. His parents, Sue and Bill Best of East Bridgewater, did not immediately return a phone message.

Daniel Hauser and his mother, Colleen Hauser, apparently left their southern Minnesota home sometime after a doctor’s appointment and court-ordered X-ray on Monday showed his tumor had grown.

Brown County District Judge John Rodenberg, who had ruled last week that Daniel’s parents were medically neglecting him, issued an arrest warrant Tuesday for Colleen Hauser and ruled her in contempt of court. Rodenberg also ordered that Daniel be placed in foster care and immediately evaluated by a cancer specialist for treatment.

The family belongs to a religious group that believes in “natural” healing methods. Daniel has testified he believed chemotherapy would kill him and told the judge that if anyone tried to force him to take it, “I’d fight it. I’d punch them and I’d kick them.”

The boy’s father, Anthony Hauser, testified he didn’t know where his wife and son were but had made no attempt to find them. He testified he last saw his son Monday morning, and he saw his wife only briefly that evening when she said she was leaving “for a time.”

Officials distributed the arrest warrant nationwide. Brown County Sheriff Rich Hoffman said Tuesday that investigators were following some leads locally, but declined to elaborate. A crime alert said the Hausers might be with Susan Daya, also known as Susan Hamwi, a California attorney who accompanied them to a medical appointment Monday, or with a man named Billy Joe Best.

Best appeared at a news conference held by the family in early May to say he supported the Hausers. Best, who said he was from Boston, told The Journal of New Ulm then that he had also been diagnosed with Hodgkins lymphoma as a teenager but was cured by natural remedies.

In an interview Wednesday at his family farm in Sleepy Eye, Anthony Hauser said he hadn’t heard from his wife or Daniel since they left. He said he has some ideas where they might have gone, and he’s shared them with authorities.


Click for related content
Poll: Should teen be forced to have chemo?

He said he thinks his wife just got scared when they got the results of the X-ray on Monday, and thought Brown County authorities would use it to try to get custody of Daniel.

“It’s just my opinion, but I think she figured that because of that X-ray she feared they were going to take him,” he said.

He said he doesn’t oppose chemotherapy “if it’s a necessary thing,” but thinks doctors use it too much.

He wonders why Brown County authorities got involved.

“I don’t know why they started this situation in the first place,” he said. “Why does someone believe they have the right over your child?”

Daniel’s Hodgkin’s lymphoma, diagnosed in January, is considered highly curable with chemotherapy and radiation, but the boy quit chemo after a single treatment.

The judge has said Daniel, who has a learning disability and cannot read, did not understand the risks and benefits of chemotherapy and didn’t believe he was ill.

The Hausers are Roman Catholic and also believe in the “do no harm” philosophy of the Nemenhah Band, a Missouri-based religious group that believes in natural healing methods advocated by some American Indians. Colleen Hauser testified earlier that she had been treating his cancer with herbal supplements, vitamins, ionized water and other natural alternatives.

The founder of Nemenhah, Philip Cloudpiler Landis, said it was a bad idea for Colleen Hauser to flee with her son. “You don’t solve anything by disregarding the order of the judge,” Landis said.


Click for related content
Judge rules family can't refuse chemo for boy
Child brains wired differently than adult ones
Push to fight malnutrition in cancer patients


The family’s doctor, James Joyce, testified by telephone that he examined Daniel on Monday, and that an X-ray showed his tumor had grown to the size it was when he was first diagnosed.

“He had basically gotten back all the trouble he had in January,” the doctor said.

Joyce testified that he offered to make appointments for Daniel with oncologists, but the Hausers declined, then left in a rush with Daya, the California lawyer. “Under Susan Daya’s urging, they indicated they had other places to go,” Joyce said.

Daya did not immediately respond to a call Tuesday from The Associated Press.

Minnesota statutes require parents to provide necessary medical care for a child, Rodenberg wrote. The statutes say alternative and complementary health care methods aren’t enough. END ARTICLE

This deeply saddens and disturbs me. I pray that this boys mother makes the right decision in the best interest of her son.
Being a person with Hodgkin's who believes wholly in the benefits of alternatives, I recognize the difficulty of having to accept traditional care.
However, certain situations do require the use of traditional care and in my opinion, the refusal or inability to rovide proven life saving treatment to a child in your care is neglect.
This is certainly not a situation where there will be a winner or loser. We can only hope and pray that this young man receives the care he needs.
To give a word to ease minds, not knowing the specific type of Hodgkin's he suffers with, it is likely a small delay in chemotherapy will not allow the disease to progress to a point that is untreatable. When the family returns, he will likely still have a significant chance of survival.

Lucid Dreams

My dreams, vivid dreams, took me far away last night.
The giggling, the laughter, the sounds of the happy nurses all helped too.
I was peaceful, rested, riding in the passenger seat of my husband’s car through the country. That’s one of my new favorite places to be, just a passenger, in a comfortable car, going somewhere, but enjoying the trip.
That seems to be the story of my life.
In the car, we passed into a covered bridge, and I could see the shadows of the leaves in the dark. I could hear the planks underneath us as we drove. I felt safe and comfortable.
Then I woke up and decided to write the dream, the feeling, the experience, down so people know at our sickest, we still dream, beautiful comfortable dreams, and our mind’s continue to guide us in understanding the world in our own way, even though we, as patients, may have all ready started to progress between this reality and our new state of being in the next.

5 am Wake-up Call

It’s 6 am. I’ve now been dragged, unhappily, back into hospital time.
I was woken up at 5 am for lab draws. I was woken up at 5 am to be stuck with a needle and then I tried to go back to bed.
At least I slept nicely. The ativan and ambien I requested to assist in this must have helped.
Then, after I’d gone back into my slumber, who knows how much time had gone by, but it couldn’t have been very much, the poker was back, for more blood, waking me up when I should be resting.
I’m guessing this second stabbing occurred about 5:30 am since it is 6 am on the dot now, and quite a bit has taken place since my initial waking.
The second stabbing I tried to sleep through, literally. I stuck out my arm from under the sheets and didn’t open my eyes, hoping, that after attempt #2 I could really go back to sleep.
No such luck.
I think I must now be labeled “awake” to the nurses, since mine decided to trek right in with questions about pain.
I’m barely able to talk. I’m barely able to open my eyes. I certainly have not had my coffee, and I won’t be having any of that, because I am NPO (no food allowed).
She immediately starts asking questions about my pain.
I don’t know. I just woke up. I haven’t moved at all. There is no way of know exactly how much pain I am in from my bed without testing the limits a little.
“Oh, so you’re not in pain.” She says.
No, certainly not what I said at all.
“Can I have my oxycontin?”
“I’ll go check.”
My oxycontin is my baseline narcotic painkiller. I take this twice a day to maintain a tolerable pain level. Thanks to the advent of these medications, I am able to live a relatively productive life. Without them, I’d probably be curled in a ball crying somewhere and completely unable to move.
I take narcotics so I can have a semblance of the quality of life I once enjoyed.
However, I watch them carefully.
“We can’t give you the Oxycontin now, you receive your oxycontin at 8am and 8pm. We can give you some morphine for your pain.” The nurse comes in and explains.
At least she’s getting me something, but me, with my crazy, meticulous, anal schedule of narcotic taking, I do not like having to be under the thumbs of rules and guidelines by hospitals, even though I know exactly what they’re for.
I take my oxycontin first, upon getting out of bed, with the hopes that the baseline long lasting release will prevent me from needing to take the morphine.
This is not a thought process the hospital’s share. I understand.
Hospitals need to undergo a huge cultural change along with health care reform.
I see the cultural change happening in individuals everywhere, and hopefully, this will turn into a movement of patient centered care.
As most of us have seen all over the news healthcare is big business. It is big industry. Until now the health care stakeholders were running under the assumption that the consumers, the sick, had to buy into their plan and whatever their plan allowed, at their costs.
Those times are changing and hopefully bringing along this idea of patient centered care whereby tests, medications, surgeries, etc. are done for no other reason than they are in the best interest of the patient.
Five am blood draws on cancer patients with unknown, excruciating abdominal problems would be the first to go in my book.
Blood is drawn at 5am on patients so it will be available when the doctors round at 8 or nine am.
The blood draws are catered to the needs of healthy professionals who want to look at the results when it is most convenient for them.
The timing does not take into consideration that sleep is sometimes the only true pain relief a patient gets (It has been for me) and awakening them thwarts whatever healing process was taking place during this period and stops it in its tracts, violently.
This is an action that is embedded in hospital’s culture all over the country, so much in fact, that it has never been questioned whether it is helpful or harmful for the patient.
I say use common sense on this one. It’s time for a change. It’s time for a lot of changes.

From The Hospital Bed

I caught some talk on Larry King Live tonight while I was struggling to move, tubed to my bed, trying to organize all the endless wires that are helping me get through whatever problem I am having with my stomach.
It still hasn’t been determined what exactly my problem is, but it is significant enough where they have taken away my food.
It is serious if the food is getting messed with.
I am feeling better, but barely. I’m going to be needing some rest and quiet time.
This gave me the time to relax and watch Larry King where they were talking about the hot topic of the week: Farrah Fawcette.
This is my current favorite gossip fodder. I can’t get enough. They’re talking about it on The Today Show, on The View, and now on Larry King Live, and all are aprouching the subject from different viewpoints.
I can only imagine this was the idea Farrah had dreamed of when deciding to make her case public.
It’s why I write.
Her actions in the midst of her disease have opened pathways of communication. She has invited people to comment publicly on her very private battle with the knowledge that in doing so treatment options and struggles with cancer would become more transparent.
What she has done is facilitate communication in an area of disease that needs the most effective communication modalities possible.
Larry King’s version of Farrah’s story was my favorite though. He facilitated a conversation among many oncology specialists throughout the United States and Germany. He did so in a manner that allowed each to state their piece, but eventually, I could see the writing on the wall.
A minor territory battled ensued, much like the ones seen everyday between the ER and the ICU or Dana Farber and Dartmouth Medical, except, this time, it was the United States versus Germany over Farrah Fawcette.
Ms. Angel managed to out a major barrier to expediting cures by contracting a nasty cancer and then choosing, with all her assets and options, to seek care internationally, essentially destroying our nationalistic belief that America’s health care system is superior.
Well, it is exactly thoughts like this that are stopping progress and allowing people to continue to die of cancers.
When I was looking at different treatment facilities a year ago, Memorial Sloan and Kettering had offered several clinical trial drugs that may work in a case as specific and resistant as mine.
I was told these chemotherapies had been used for 50+ years in Germany but were only now making it here, stateside, due to the obvious beaurocratic issues of the last half century.
Well, I thought, if MMSC, the alpha #1 cancer center in the United States, was recommending 50 year old German therapies, then what exactly could current therapy in Germany offer?
I found Dr. Ursula Jacob through a friend that evening. Dr. Ursula Jacob is featured prominently in Farrah’s documentary as her primary doctor.
I’m happy I’ve been able to see the woman I’ve been communicating with for the past year, and she does possess the joi de vivre (I’m going to have to learn to say that in German) I love in a doctor.
I am also happy that I followed my instincts and remained in contact with Dr. Jacob despite the serious misgivings that many, many, many, many people, both professional and lay people, have stated.
I’m sure that now her name is out in the world she has patients trying to hop on board left and right.
I’m all ready on board! Yay me!
In doing this, as stated on Larry King, It is certainly a way to bring hope, but that is not to say I have lost hope in American treatment.
I simply feel I have exhausted the best of American treatment and would like to exercise my right to seek the best treatment available elsewhere, in Germany.
This doesn’t have to get territorial but it usually does. Doctors don’t like to have other doctors “step on their toes” or put “too many cooks in the kitchen.”
However, this presents a great opportunity to view what cancer treatment is like throughout the world, and possibly, hopefully, determine the best worldwide practices to expedite cures for cancer.

I've been hit!

I've been hit! I felt something nasty coming on. When I was happily going about my business yesterday I wondered just how long this period of relative health could go on? It was a bad, bad thought, a thought that planted the seed of doubt. The answer came pretty quickly. Just four hours later the stomach pains started. What a cruel joke. I really thought it was something I ate. I had strayed away from my diet for the day and indulged in craziness like McDonalds, mayo, and seafood chowder. I thought all that fat had been too much for my liver to detoxify, but I was too sick to flush it out. I was busy curling up in a ball in the fetal position and convering myself head to toe with blankets to stop the chills. It's a sick, sick joke how fast I go from health to illness. I decided to sleep it off with the assistance of some ativan that may help the nausea but that didn't stop my body from jolting me out of the bed in the middle of the night. I had hoped evacuating everything in my stomach would make me feel better. It didn't. All it did was potentiate the chills so I realized I was , in fact, sick. When I spiked a temp I knew it was over. I am know heading to boston for a check up. Cross those fingers.

Hillary Quotables

I was quoted and didn't even know. I think Jon was online doing some googling last night, knowing that I wake up, and after getting my much needed coffee, head straight for the computer where I can work in silence until the little man gets up.
Uh-oh, door open and slam, here he comes. I can hear the quick-step, scuffling pitter-pater of his feet running around the house looking for me.
It's nice to know people are listening and have listened. The copy below is from The Valley News.
And I thought they missed me! How exciting.
A couple days ago I received a call from the wife of a man who is looking towards an autologous transplant at Dartmouth Medical.
It's liberating for me to have the ability to use my disease to help others. It gives my suffering purpose that I can bring some comfort to others who are going through what I have. I hope I can do this in an honest, candid manner that focuses on what can be done to improve the situation.
Marleigh wrote about me on her and her husbands collaborative bloghttp://nhsavageblog.blogspot.com/ in a posting entitled The Glass Is Half FULL. How appropriate.
I think we'll be speaking again next week after an important appointment of theirs.

Published 3/13/09
Budget's Effects Are Deep And Wide
N.H. Legislators Get An Earful in Valley
By John P. Gregg
Valley News Staff Writer
Claremont -- Cancer patients, overwhelmed parents, recovering addicts and local officials last night all pleaded with House budget writers to restore funding for a variety of programs in New Hampshire's proposed two-year budget.

More than 350 people attended a regional hearing of the House Finance and Ways and Means committees at River Valley Community College, with many sharing wrenching stories of misfortune and voicing opposition to millions of dollars in cuts proposed by Democratic Gov. John Lynch.

Charlestown resident Hillary St.Pierre said she was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma three years ago and said she has had to ask for help with medical costs after exhausting her $2 million insurance maximum.



St.Pierre, who has had to give up her job as a critical care nurse at Valley Regional Hospital, was wearing a surgical mask and gloves to prevent infection after a second stem-cell transplant; she asked lawmakers to raise the cigarette tax, fund the state's cancer plan and save a catastrophic illness insurance fund Lynch has targeted.

“I suffer, not only from cancer, but from fighting for care,” said St.Pierre, 26. “Everybody should know exactly what even the most economically prepared, financially stable and educated patients suffer.”

West Lebanon resident Jessica Ellicott showed the panel a photograph of her 11-year old son, Sam, who is autistic, and said funding for family support services would “help us tremendously.

“I'm begging you to please not cut (off) the waitlist for services for family supports,” she said.

And Meriden resident Sara Burbee told the panel of the difficulties her family has faced because of a traumatic brain injury her husband, John, suffered when hit by another car.

Her 10-year-old daughter, Alyson, broke down sobbing in her mother's arms as the girl started to read lawmakers a poem she had written about dreaming of her father before the accident, and how she now feels there is a “stranger in the house.”

Several people who have gone through substance-treatment programs also spoke against potential cuts.

“I'm proof that treatment works … these programs will not survive a budget cut,” said Alisa Bento, now a counselor at Phoenix House, a recovery center in Dublin, N.H.

Thanks to federal stimulus funding, Lynch has recently backed away from a proposal to suspend $60 million in local aid from the rooms and meals tax, but local officials last night said other budget cuts were taking a major toll.

Hanover Town Manager Julia Griffin said her town stands to lose at least $126,000 from cuts in revenue sharing and the requirement that the town pick up more pension costs for municipal workers, which together would increase the town tax rate by almost 2 percent to make up the difference.

She also noted that Hanover is seeing increased needs for fuel assistance, its welfare caseload and social service agencies, even as other local revenue, such as that for building permits and car registrations, are dropping steeply.

Griffin also said the Hanover Selectboard had voted this week on a blunt message: “Any reduction in state revenues will be built directly into the town tax rate … and will be accompanied by a letter linking the increase directly to the state of New Hampshire.”

Another major Upper Valley community said the budget cuts would have a different -- even more dramatic -- effect.

Pointing to firefighters and police in the room, Claremont Mayor Deborah Cutts said the city would have to resort to furloughs or layoffs if Claremont loses as much as $1.4 million in state-related funding.

“We can't pass these cuts on to the citizens of our community,“ she said. “They can't handle it anymore.”

And Lebanon Mayor Karen Liot Hill pleaded for more school building aid.

“We definitely need the support to invest in our school buildings. We have a crisis with our junior high, and funding from the state will be crucial,” she said.

More than 50 people testified last night at a hearing expected to last some four hours, including several who spoke out against New Hampshire's heavy reliance on the property tax.

“I believe the time has come for New Hampshire to adopt an income tax” for educational purposes, said Meriden resident Rod Wendt. “We are far too reliant on property taxes in this state. It is not a fair tax.”

Claremont City Manager Guy Santagate said a legislative proposal to allow an exemption for part of the value of owner-occupied homes would ease the property tax burden in his city, while raising taxes on vacation homes in wealthier communities.

“The property tax is the worst tax on the face of the earth, but if you are going to stay with it, change how it is implemented,” he said.

State Rep. Sharon Nordgren, a Hanover Democrat who sits on the House Finance Committee, said the panel is holding regional hearings in Salem, the North Country and Claremont, as well as another series of hearings in Concord on Tuesday. Nordgren's committee will take up the budget after the hearings conclude.

Nordgren said the situation with the waitlist for services for families whose disabled or challenged children are turning 18 is “very sad,” but that some money for health and human service programs might be restored thanks to savings found elsewhere in state government.

Asked about the pointed message from the Hanover Selectboard about the “downshift” of the fiscal burden onto local towns and property taxpayers, Nordgren, a former Hanover Selectboard chairwoman, said, “It's true, but I don't know any solution right now with the tax structure that we have.”

While much of the testimony focused on health care, human services and municipal government, several artists also spoke against a cut to the state arts council.

“The arts are not frivolous,“ said Bente Torjusen, executive director of AVA Gallery and Art Center in Lebanon. “We need to recognize the arts help stimulate the economy while nurturing the soul.”

John Gregg can be reached at jgregg@vnews.com or (603) 727-3213.

Reaction to Farrah

I’m watching the Farrah Fawcette special.
I’ve been looking forward to it al week.
I’ve told everybody I’ve spoken to about it.
I’m talking everybody, including cashiers at the grocers, secretaries at the cancer centers, and random possible new friends.
Yes, everybody, please watch Farrah Fawcette’s documentary, because she is using the same Dr. in Germany I will.

Dr. Ursula Jacob is now officially famous stateside.
Thanks to Farrah’s documentary I now know to whom I have been speaking over the past year. I now know somewhat where I am going.
I feel like my research into options has been validated. If Dr. Jacob and The Klink Im Alpenpark is good enough for Charlie’s Angel, it is good enough for me.
From what I’m seeing, Germany’s toys are so much better than ours. Their technology is amazing. Too bad people will be playing with them using me.
This is the nurse in me speaking, the scientist. The lab, diagnostic tests, scans, the sick those are my toys. It is a playground of innovation.
!
I was shocked when Dr. Jacob very clearly stated to Farrah that liver metastasis is a very ominous sign and that when this occurs, the prognosis is generally not good.
WHAT?!
ARE YOU SERIOUS?!
This is my denial speaking. Obviously, clearly, I know tumors in the liver are very, very bad.
I also know that in the past two weeks, while I have been cooking and cautiously eating, enjoying my steroids and relaxing, meticulously managing my supplements and medications, my liver enzymes have been cut in half.
My liver enzymes were barely elevated above normal on Thursday. My ALT was in the 120s two weeks ago. Thursday it was 60. Normal is 56.
HOLLA.
I rubbed my liver. I’ve been saying I’ve been “giving my liver some love” for the past couple weeks.
I have been using a chiropractor who also practices acupressure to facilitate drainage, specifically stimulating areas along the spine, which is innervated by nerves associated with the liver.
Did everybody follow that?
The use of acupressure utilizes the trifecta of organ, nerves, and spinal collaboration.
When my liver is manipulated, often, especially during extremely sensitive times, my actually liver is never even touched.
Not even close.
There is an area at the base of my skull that use massaged that coordinates with the nerves that then stimulate the liver, naturally.
It’s at the base of the skull, perfect to find on all the badlies.
It’s also directly beside the area of innervations for the respiratory system.
My lungs and my liver are two organ system that have been severely affected by my cancer and treatment.
We do rarely directly manipulate the lymphatic system. That could open Pandora’s box.
As if on cue, knowing it was on my mind, my liver gurgled as Farrah and Dr. Jacob spoke.
Because I become so thin, my chiropractor, Dr. Klema, can actually feel my liver and then the opening of the biliary ducts.
After years of practice, he can feel the organs responding to his touch. Specifically, he can feel my organs.
Watching the show I want to tell Farrah, I get it.
I understand why she wants the misery documented. I understand why she wants everybody to see how she suffers while so many specialized, technical procedures are enacted in the hope of survival.
I’m now concerned with exactly how long I will be residing in Europe.
Watching the documentary, I think I should just make myself at home.
I am officially going to start learning German.
I am googling the Klinik as we speak.
The area does look beautiful. It is in view of the Alps. The adjacent living arrangements are created in a spa-like atmosphere specifically for disabled travelers. The building looks like it is a modernized version belonging in “The Sound of Music.”
I just happen to love that movie.
I also love the styles. Bring old Hollywood back.
The area is an hour south of Munich, which will hopefully make travel easier.
Of course, there is the thought in the back of my head, exactly how much will this cost?
I am trying not to get upset. I am experiencing a deep sadness. I want to cry. I keep watching the television and then flipping back to my laptop diverting myself from tears.
I don’t even know why I want to cry.
I am to the point of quiet, stalwart acceptance.
My situation is what it is. I told myself at the beginning that I would do everything within possibility to survive.
I want Xander to know I did absolutely everything possible to stay with him.
I’m not going to worry about the timeline, the travel, and the arrangements now.
I’m fortunate to have such a large support group. There is always someone who knows someone.
With businesses practicing internationally now I am lucky to have loved ones who have traveled to the region before and have contacts in Munich, or at least in the country.
I’ll be well taken care of. My family will be well taken care of.
I am buying a leiderhosen too.
It is hard to watch someone else experience the same feelings, the same roller coaster of emotions associated with treatments and remissions and hope and devastation.
It is a dramatic experience, unparallel to any other in life, to know the joy of survival only to feel the tragedy of possible death.
I don’t think there is any other comparable experience in life that runs such a gamet of emotions than thinking, feeling that you have survived and overcome an obstacle like no other only to realize that your own body has defied you once again, and maybe, you are not as strong as you believed, that maybe, you will die despite all your very best efforts.
I have never been good with disappointment. I have known failure. It is absolute devastation to think the largest obstacle I may fail to overcome could be my only, my last.
The thought is making me nauseas, but it’s not making me cry.
I want to say Go Farrah, for showing your balding head. Real Women Are Bald.
Unlike Farrah, however, I am going to enjoy the trip to Germany.
I’m going to experience it like a tourist. I’m going to love the Alps and enjoy the scenary.
My cancer has been a journey. It has given me the adventure of my life. It has provided an adrenaline rush like no other.