My Chemical Romancec

It has started. My chemical romance has started.

That 50mg of prednisone is getting to me.

I have been taking that amount since the 22nd of December. The fact that it has taken this long to interfere with my sleep and give me hyper manic jitters is a little disconcerting.

I was worried my adrenal glands could no longer be stimulated. If 50mg of prednisone doesn't do it, I don't know what will.

It's definately working. It's working to the point that I now need something in the evening to slow me down.

That would be 0.5mg of ativan, but that's just a start. I've finally come to a point where I can concede that these medications are necessary for my survival and quality of life, even if they do come with a social stigma.

I could tell the prednisone was doing its anti-inflammatory job from the vast improvement in my lungs and appetitite.

The main benefit was breathing.

Eating was just a perk. I had gotten a little on the skinny side, and it being Christmas and all, had a great excuse to pack on the pounds.

The problem is I have just kept on packing.

My hands want to be doing something every second. Cooking and eating are some of my favorite hobbies. It's a two-for-one deal.

That is until Jon and I realized we were going to get very fat from the muffins, brownies, rice krispie treats and cookie I was making on top of the four course dinners.

Cooking and eating can no longer be a hobby.

Thank goodness I ave art to turn to to satisfy my need to MOVE.

I have organized the house.

This was stage one in my recovery.

You can tell the order of my life by the order of my house and car.

If the house and car are chaos, so is my life.

The second floor is untouched except to throw piles of miscellaneous stuff in it during my periods of illness.

The healthy time is used to rearrange, organize, and purge the stuff that has accumulated.

When I first walk into the rooms after my recovery it's like a time warp. It's like stepping into one of those boxes that have been buried decades in the past.

No one can ever predict the last day they'll be doing something. Nobody says, "Oh, I'll start sewing this and then I will not return to the sewing machine for three years."

The scene of where I was immediately prior to my chemotherapy in August is still set.

I was taking steroids and motivated.

I was motivated enough that I had decided Alexis and Xander may move upstairs if they had rooms side by side.

I decided the kids could have the two small rooms.

I was in the middle of moving Xander's tons of toys.

Then everything stopped. I got sick. The second floor was a big mess, and Xander resumed living in our room.

The three of us all live in one bedroom in our large four bedroom cape.

I thank God I was smart enough when we built the house to want a mastersuite on the first floor.

That master suite has a bathroom five feet from my bed. It has a twin mattress at the foot of our bed, three bureaus, a night stand, a walk-in closet, my husband's closet, and a linen closet with space to spare.

Damn, are we lucky.

We all live and function day to day there.

I've been ambivalent about having a "family bed" or "family room" since the decision was made with my diagnosis; however, it is the right decision for us.

Having the presence of one another together provides the sense of security we lose when I become ill. We are all able to watch over each other day in and day out.

The automatic question that comes with this decision is how do J and I get our play time?

Hhhhmmmmm.

I'm blushing.

As I said, we have a big house. There is no rule that ties us to the bed. IF not, mum is the word.

There is another word that has been more catastrophic on our love life, and I bet you can guess it, that's the "C" word.

No, it's not a dirty for letter word, but if you want to hear a joke about that I've got one.

What is a four letter word ending in "unt" that describes a woman.

NO! you dirty people.

I'm talking about an "Aunt."

And the nasty "C" word is cancer.

We work it out because we love and are dedicated to each other.

Speaking of love and dedication, X's first phone call ever to a girl has blossomed into them calling each other "boyfriend" and "girlfriend."

I don't know how I feel about this.

I'm ambivalent. I don't want my baby growing up. I don't want him distracted by females at this age. It's inappropriate. He needs to focus on READING and MATH.

But the phone call brought him so much joy when I couldn't.

I feel so much guilt for bringing suffering into his life. I also worry that if I don't see these things happen now, I'll never be able to see him.

I know that's selfish.

I don't want him to grow up to quickly, but dammit, I want to be a part of that experience.

It also gave me the opportunity to discuss telephone manners, etiquotte, and introductions.

We've been working on manners a lot recently.

I have explained to him the golden rule (do unto others as you would like done onto ourself). I've also explained to him that the basis of most religions is to love one another as you love yourself.

If you have this basic tennant you can be a good person.

Then, in good old Ford fashion, we decided to make an experiment using his perfect manners and happy demeanor.

We theorized that if he approached people happily, with good manners and laughter they would approach him the same.

So far, so good. He's been a much happier child.

My feeling so well probably has something to do with it.

The week Jon spent away in San Diego also helped blossom our relationship again.

X now sees me again as a viable, capable caregiver who can meet his needs.

I haven't been able to be this mom while I'm sick.

He is now on my schedule, walking at 6:30 am and taking his time in the morning before school. He takes care of the dogs (he has been babysitting for my parent's dog), gets himself dressed, and scraps the snow off my car in the morning.

He has turned into quite the helper since I banished video games in the am. I do allow speelingcity.com in the morning if there is time.

All I have to do is make sure he gets his nutritious breakfast.

I went on a tangent there for a second.

The point is, X's "girl friend" is coming over for a playdate tonight.

I've been badgered about this since November. I'd postponed it. I hadn't talked to the girl's mom. I didn't know how she felt about the two of them playing.

I spoke to her last night, and low and behold, small world, we know her!

J and I coached her older son at soccer.

I don't know how this well go, but Xander is excited through the roof. He's been playing what he'll do with her every second since last night. He's been jittery and running around he house looking for activities.

I, of course, used this to my advantage to get some chores out of him.

Funny, as soon as we set the date, Xander notified me that the laundry would need to be put away.

He didn't want his girl to see our underwear.

Underwear has become a very private personal thing.

I accidentally left an outfit of Lexi's out on New Years eve when he hosted a friend for the sleepover and did I hear about how I left lexi's undies in plan view.

I was told never to allow that to happen again.

He cleaned the house, picked up his toys, and the play date is set.

It's going to include playing outside, maybe taking a walk through the trails, building a snow man, or sledding.

Then they are going to play on webkinz.

Nana bought Xander a hippo on her travels to FL. Maybe they'll play the Wii or we'll do arts and crafts or spell city.

He's got all sorts of plans.

He also knows that this is a little different than just a friend and they'll be supervised continuously on the first floor.

Wish me luck. I can't believe this is happening. I'm off to do art.

mymedschedule.com

I read about www.mymedschedule.com in the September issue of Better Homes and Gardens, and I am finally getting around to passing this fabulous organizational tool on to you.

Mymedschedule.com is a website that, upon registration and entering your prescription information, creates a printable schedule of your medications.

The perks don't stop there though, the fee site can remind you via text messsage or email when it's time to refill your prescription. It can also store and send along your coveted prescription number for easy refills.

I know a common problem of mine is falling to order medications in a fashion that suits all the chanels that need to be guided before the medication actually enters my hands.

I can guide the site to remind me a week in advance that my thirty day prescription will be ending. At that point, I call my physicians office at Norris Cotton, which asks for 72 hours notification for refills.

After 72 hours I assume it's been called in.

Unfortunately, this DOES NOT actually mean I can just run to the pharmacy and grab it. This means the pharmacy has the order and will be able to fill it on the thirtieth day when the insurance will pay for the prescription.

It is always my hope that when the doctor calls the prescription in, the pharmacy is immediately on notice that I will be picking the medication up and orders it immediately.

This doesn't necessarily happen either. If the insurance refuses to pay on that same day, the medication doesn't get ordered.

I have ended up waiting two weeks for a long acting morphine prescription.

I used this long scheddule process that allowed for interim time between the doctors office the pharmacy and ordering the medication. Everything fell apart during the ordering stage.

Narcotics are special. They are highly regulated. If I accept a partial fill the rest of the prescription is null and void. I would have to do this process all over.

I just take a breath, remember to accept the things I can not change, and thank goodness technology can help.

For all of you looking for some medication organization, I recommend www.mymedschedule.com

There is also a medactionplan.com available to providers to assist in teaching their patients, if anyone is interested.

I DID IT! Hill's Ebay Shop Opens!

I did it! I said I would. I had my doubts, but I did it!

I now have some items for sale on ebay!

I'm sending a special thanks to my dear friends Bud and Trudy who came by to visit this morning and inspired me to actually take the plunge.

Another special Franks to F, Barb, and Alicia who believed in my artistic talents. My self esteem issues had been holding me back a little.

I'm a meticulous perfectionist. This does not mesh well with being an artist.

Art, in it's very nature, is imperfect. That's the beauty of

it. Art is whatever you want it to be. It's all in the eye of the beholder.

I like to "behold" a lot. I just don't know if anyone shares my tastes. This means I have paintings and crafts strewn around my house getting no love.

Someone, please love my art.

I didn't take the full on plunge into creating my own online store. The basic fee for this is $15.95 a month. I didn't know if it would be worth the purchase.

In the interim, how should I label my products? I'd like anyone who goes on ebay to be able to find my things simply.

I'm listed as the seller Acqui3scence (don't ask, I was in college when I created it).

Since you probably are wondering, I know I still do whenever I type it, acquiescence means to give in, to resign.

When I created my ebay account I was resigning to join the ranks of technology and buyers. It was a vocabulary word on a test and I liked it.

There is the story behind that.

The listings I have now can be found under "Three piece brown, yellow, and blue cat tail painting" at http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=120520220305&ssPageName

=STRK:MESELX:IT#ht_500wt_1182

This is an original painting by me.

I'm wondering how I should label my items so people can easily search them. If anybody has suggestions or experience, I'd love to hear it!

The other two items are listed as "Angel Wall Hanging" and "Handmaid Faceless Girl Garden Decoration."

The Angel Wall Hanging is created by my friend Bud. The cost represents his time and materials. Anything received above and beyond the price goes to my costs.

I looked into shipping prices, but I'm worried they might be inflated.

I have no experience with shipping. To be honest, I've always felt uncomfortable around the post office. It is dark in Claremont. It's an older, gothic looking

building with a variety of cold metals. I always feel like I have a neon sign on me that says "This girl has no idea what she is doing, treat her accordingly."

I just feel like an idiot.

Ideally, the dream I have for this is that it could expand into a store where patients can sell

their goods fulfilling their needs of therapy through art while bringing in additional income,

not only to defray costs, but to alleviate the feeling of uselessness.

I hate feeling useless. Being sick, I all ready feel like a burden. I am dependent for rides. I need help with cleaning and to care for my child. I feel useless. I feel dependent.

It's been devastating to cope with these feelings alongside fighting for my life. I wonder if I'm more of a burden than an asset to those I love.

Cancer comes with a lot of guilt and any little thing I can do to contribute alleviates these negative feelings I just don't need.

I'd love to see this blossom into something that could start an endowment for palliative care or education at Norris Cotton.

My favorite endowment at Dana Farber (which is blessed with a lot of rich survivors who give back) gave me $200 worth of gas cards to defray travel costs.

I could have taken this $200 in cash or it could have been paid directly to the hotel where I stayed. I chose gas cards which went to my mother who did most the carting back and forth from Boston during my trial therapy. I was also able to pay for gas when any of my fabulous friends/caretakers took the time to drive me.

I'd love for a percentage of proceeds to go to an endowment where patients could receive a fixed amount for helpful costs such as gas, house cleaning, lodging, oil changes, car payments, yard work, child care etc.

These are the quality of life issues that are so drastically altered when diagnosed with a disease.

Unfortunately, holistic care is still a relatively new concept and assisting the patient outside the hospital or clinic setting is barely addressed.

There is just too much else for providers to deal with, but patients are only with providers for an hour or so each week if they're in therapy other than that, we're no our own to cope.

Our home is our primary battle ground.

This is just me dreaming though. I'm so excited I've made it to the point where I can take this first step.

I'll let you know in the coming week how it goes.

Hot Mess

You have all heard the song by now.

It's probably stopped popping on over your speakers and scaring you if you are a dedicated reader and checker of my page.

It's Hot Mess by Cobra Starship, and it had to make it onto the blog for describing exactly how I feel about myself.

I am one hot mess.

I hope you have all fallen for me.

The term hot mess has been around for a while. It's old enough to be a term used in a slander suit where one blogger labeled a model as her favorite hot, ghetto mess.

Apparently he didn't like that very much. I think it may have been the ghetto part. He sued and won.

I'm a hot mess, because with all my problems, I'm still keeping the cuteness factor.

I don't think anyone is going to argue I'm a mess.

For the past couple months, I've been wishing, day in and day out, that I just had one bodily system that would work in its entirety.

I was experiencing major body, multi-organ failure, hence the hundred medications.

Each organ system required a different medication, prescribed by a different specialist.

Now, humpty dumpty seems to be put back together again with the addition of one medication: prednisone.

Ah, yes, the mighty prednisone.

I remember the very first time I was forced to use it. I was adamantly against it due to the side effects: bone loss, addison's disease, hirsuitism (hairiness), moon face, hump back, anxiety, mood swings, sleeplessness. The list goes on and on and on.

There was also the fact that one of my favorite sayings as an ICU nurse was "when the cause is unknown, give prednisone."

It's a band aid drug. It doesn't actually fix the problem, but it makes you feel really good while you're taking it.

I needed to feel really good.

I had forgotten what good life had holding for me.

During my entire illness, I've maintained a dialog with God.

Like I hear most people with a possibly fatal disease do, I've been bargaining with him for the past four years.

I'm okay with suffering as long as my suffering serves a purpose, as long as there is some benefit to the greater good.

At the beginning of my disease I wondered if I would contract a refractory form of lymphoma resistant to all medications so when I was cured everybody would truly know it was a miracle, a work of God.

I certainly did contract a resistant, refractory strain of Hodgkin's.

In exchange for suffering and doing God's work, I asked that some systems be left off-limits, specifically my lungs.

When my lungs started to fail this fall I felt betrayed. I felt like some convenant between the big man and I had been broken.

How dare he do that to me on top of everything else. I felt abandoned spiritually.

I've held my beliefs close during my illness.

I know I am not perfect, but I am striving to be. I've strayed and come back again. I've never been left desperately ill without a Priest to allow me to confess and give me my last rights.

These sacraments or gifts are given to people who have been dedicated to the rosary.

I've prayed the rosary since high school seeking divine protection.

I feel it does protect me. I think it still does today.

Unfortunately, what it protects me against has changed. I'm no longer kept safe while I do nursing duties.

I'm given a Priest in case I die so I can end up in heaven where I won't suffer like I do now.

I know there is something better than here.

This has been a solid comfort, except during this past fall.

Without God as my backing, I lost my voice.

I'm happy I've been able to find it again.

With the steroids, I've begun to attend church on Sundays with both Lexi and Xander. I do under the guise that God will protect me while I'm doing his work.

My mind is finally beginning to clear. I'm getting organized again.

Scatter brained doesn't begin to describe chemo brain. I could start all sorts of projects but never finish anything.

Thank goodness I'm getting my brain back.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

The steroids has given me one huge anxiety disorder. Everything is go, go go and and it has to be done now or five minutes ago.

I've cleaned or organized my whole house.

I'm moving on to finishing my half completed art projects. I'm perfecting my book and adding the multimedia dimensions.

All my paintings in the basement will be finished. I'm painting again and doing welcome signs. I taught myself to make jewlery immediately prior to therapy this fall, and now I'm finally able to use the materials.

I sold my first pair of earrings for $30!

I'm feeling industrious again.

What I'll do with all this stuff, I have no idea.

It's been a back of the brain dream of mine to start a little online store through ETSY or Ebay where patients can sell the handmade goods they make.

It is devastating to be diagnosed with cancer, but alongside this loss comes the loss of employment roles and financial freedom.

It would be fabulous if there was a site where patients could sell what they make while ill.

So many people I know have turned to art as an outlet.

They create hand made cards or take photographs because their view of the world has changed through their illness and they want to share that perspective with the world. They write books or create jewlery.

How fabulous would it be if they all had a place to sell it?

Just an idea.

And FYI- there would be pictures of all the cool stuff I'm doing, but I'm experiencing technical difficulties. Hopefully I'll be all connected again soon.

Back to me

My mind has cleared enough for me to organize my movements. I'm finally starting to get my life back in order starting with cleaning the piles of clutter from my house.

I have started to organize our second floor which turns into a no man's land during my periods of disability.

Being sick for so long, I recognize the cycles. Four to six months of treatment and eveything gets thrown every year. The rest of the year is dedicated to reorganizing and figuring out what we need, what we don't, and what to do with everything else.

When Jon and I built our house we had a specific vision of our life. We built a cape with a master suite on the first floor (my best decision ever) fully equipped with a master bath and walk-in closet for me.

The rest of the bedrooms we placed on the second floor along with one large bathroom and plenty of storage. One large bedroom is dedicated to Xander built specifically so Jon could give X the room, and hopefully life, he had always dreamed of growing up in a 6X9 room of a trailer. The other two, which had been created in anticipation of adding to our family, have been made into guest rooms hobby rooms.

We certainly didn't expect that I would not be able to climb the stairs to access any of the space on the second floor.

Our house is gorgeous.

It's just not handicap friendly.

I've consolidated most my hobbies to the first floor. I have a little corner office in the living room with my computer equipment.

Now I'm starting to eye a little corner of the dining room for art supplies.

We also have a large fabulous basement.

Do I/ can I go down there?

Absolutely not, never ever.

It's dusty and unfinished. My lungs start screaming just when I look at it.

On the brightside, doing the laundry is no longer my chore. Prior to my steroids, I had no chores.

It's been hard for me to manuever back into the world of the functional living.

What exactly am I supposed to do with myself?

What are my roles here? When I was diagnosed I defined myself as a hundred different people: a wife, mom, nurse, student, artist.

Now I have no definition, and telling people I'm a cancer patient makes for some interesting discussions, but it's not a title I want to hold on to.

Cancer survivor, now I'm liking that.

I'm going with artist: My new entrepreneurial effort, maybe, a little online store attached to the page.

This past summer I started making jewelrly in hopes I could bring in extra income. Maybe that's where I'm headed.

I'm taking a pottery class Weds. in Hanover. With the steroids, I felt a compulsive need to be doing something with my hands at all times.

I knitted during my first transplant, but never moved beyond scarves. I also was TERRIBLE. You could tell when I would get sick or drugged. The knots would be tight, then loose, and then there would be holes, but they were filled with love.

I found two scarves waiting for me to finish yesterday. They've been waiting about three years now.

I like art that provides some instant gratification.

We'll see where the road leads. I've been enjoying myself day in and day out. Xander and I were able to manage this past week with Jon out of town on business. X is now on my schedule (6:30 am waking and 8pm bedtime) which makes me happy.

It seems to be making him happy to, his teacher said he's been having a great week. That could have had something to do with the crystals he brought in to share with the class on Monday. He actually requested to do a presentation on rocks. Now, whose son is that?

We've also been discussing his anxiety and anger issues. It is so much easier with his developing language, but I'll keep that for another time.

Off to start my day, I have a date to explore the upper valley, specifically Simon Pearce today, something I have always wanted to do but never had the chance.

CHEMO BRAIN

I always think of my blog first thing in the morning.

I wake up inspired thinking about what I can tell everybody about my adventures..... and then life happens.

I start to putter around the house. I get Xander off to school. I shower, go to appointments, visit friends, and forget about this whole online world.

I just wanted you all to know it's because I'm doing fine.

I'm writing but can never seem to make it through the whole organizational task of putting the words on the computer with pictures and videos.

It's part of my "chemo brain."

Chemo brain is the most interesting side effect I have experienced.

It's also the most troublesome.

It is what prevents me from getting from point A to B and then C everyday.

To adjust for my fatigue, I used to be able to plan out each step I would take in my head before actually taking the first step.

I no longer have that capacity.

This means I accomplish NOTHING.

It's a chore in itself just THINKING.

I started writing just to prevent this side effect. It feels like brain atrophy. My head has turn to mush, just like those 1980s commercials with the egg fried on drugs.

I'm going to look through The Mayo Clinics online manager today in hopes of finding some organizational tools to prepare for my next bout with illness (it will come again sometime).

I've finally started to realize there is a world at there again, and I want that world in the best shape when I'm not running around anymore.

My Favorite Stage: RECOVERY

I’m in my favorite stage of treatment: recovery!

Actually, I would say recovered.

After the initial start of steroid therapy it takes a couple weeks to reorganize yourself and trust that the change will stay.

You never really appreciate how sweet life is until all the joy has been sucked out of it. Everytime I make significant leaps and bounds in healing, I feel like a whole new woman, with a whole new lease on life.

Thank you everybody for the words of encouragement.

They have been integral in reminding me who I am. Struggling for so long just to sustain the basic needs of my body (breathing!) will make you forget about those little sparks that make you.

It’s so important, in life, to make sure the basic needs of people are met. Without the fundamentals, the basics, nothing can be built.

I think this simple fact has been lost in our fast paced world of distractions.

It’s like the basketball coach that wants their team to do intricate plays before first teaching individual ball handling skills, dribbling, and passing.

You have to first have a strong foundation before great things can be built.

My body is my foundation, and now I have it back!

I’m using this time like I have for the past years: to enjoy friends, family, and hopefully make a lasting impact.

In my life review this December, I realized the best thing I have done is to keep living through out treatment.

The best thing anybody can do when facing trials like mine is to make the best of what has to be done: throw parties in the chemo room, learn to knit or draw, and absolutely, still force yourself out to participate in the world.

Forcing myself to leave my house to attend functions even when I was clearly sick and disabled has given me such positive feedback.

Of course, there is always the vanity hurdle.

I knew this existed for many who don’t want to show their face in public looking sick or weak, but I always put on my brave face and bald head to run out in the world.

With the addition of oxygen, that all changed. I grew up with stereotypes regarding who had to wear oxygen. These people were smokers. They smelled. They were likely low income and uneducated. They had holes where there should have been teeth and clothes littered with cat hair and stench.

Suddenly, I had the tank.

I wanted to joke when people stared and say things like, “No smoking kids!” or “This could be your future.” But none of this seemed funny.

I couldn’t find the sense of humor in it.

This period of health will help me deal mentally with the stereotypesI have regarding people in need of wearing oxygen. I will likely be one of them again, even though my pulmonologist did recommend several possible treatments such as photopharesis.

I almost wonder if an ablative transplant that implants my sister’s cells would work, but that’s just a wonder. It’s not something that would, should, or could actually happen.

Today starts our new Sunday routine. X and I will be attending church with my parents before grocery shopping.

This way we can still keep our coveted playdate later.

Jon is off to San Diego today.

He is feeling like a big wig flying across the country to bring a job back home to NH. He’s been gloating for weeks, and I am insanely jealous

Family Update From Vic

Hi To All
Wow can you believe it, 2010. Another decade bites the dust. We had just a great Christmas ans New year Holiday season. Lots of food, family and fun. Nancy is out early this morning doing her workout to keep fit. I decided I should stay plump to keep the cold out of my bones!! We had the whole family together for most of the week between the holidays.
Hillary has had a very good last 2-3 weeks. The best she has had since June. Dr G tried to put her into the hospital on Dec 22nd but she just cried a little and pulled it back together. I told Dr G that I don't thinks she wants to stay. He thought I was very astute at reading human behavior!! He did get the message and got all the tests that he was going to admit her for done as an out patient in about 4 hours. He was just like Santa Clause pulling the best gift out of his sack!! They put her back on steroids and has improved greatly. This week she has gone to Boston twice. She now has a lung specialist from Dana Farber that understands the problem and has seen it many times before. The communication between departments at Dartmouth has not been good. She did tell me that this is a good as her lungs expect to get. She has improved a lot as she went sliding with xander. 1 trip was all she could take but she did it! We just look at it as another day in paradise. 1 day she can enjoy. She really expects the cancer to come back with avengence from the steroids this time. Not sure her lungs can take another dose of chemo. She sees what is coming and hopes it doesn't. But she isn't going to just hang around and wait for something bad to happen. We are all coaching Basketball for 1st graders this morning!! Is there any better way to enjoy the day!! No time to waste

Everyone else is doing well.

Heather, Allen, Pierce and Preston were up for the Holiday. Allen is doing some amazing work at Boston Scientific. He has found it very challenging and has stepped up his work to meet it. Heather looks great for 10 weeks after having Preston. The kids were a lot of fun during the holidays.

Jon is heading to California tomorrow to look at engineering a job using different equipment that they use here in NH. It is a complicated turbine blade with an air foil that has a very high scrap rate. His company GKN, is flying him out for 4 days because they think he has the best solution. His is at the top of his game right now! As you can see I am very proud of my Son in Laws.

Grace is working at Maine

Medical in Portland. She is finishing her Bachelor of Science in Nursing. She already has her RN degree. Pat and Grace are hoping to get all the plans together for a October 2nd wedding. Patrick is in his last semester at Vermont tech for his Environmental Science and Engineering Degree. He is looking for a job in the Portland area after he graduates so that Grace can continue getting her Nurse Practioner or further degrees.

Nancy and I are headed for Florida this week. She has to present the new Dental Hygiene Exam to representatives of 14 states, about 500 people at her General Assembly conference. She worked all fall as chairman of the committee, trying to put an exam together that would be unified and accepted in all 50 states. This is going quite well. I don't know she keeps us all going!

Me, I am just proud to sit back

and enjoy how the family has blossomed. I always try to look back at the past year and wonder if I would change anything or if I have any regrets. Then I look forward to what is in front of us for the next year. Yes there are plenty of troubles in the economy, sadness, obstacles. But If you meet the challenges that life puts in front of you each day with a positive attitude it seems to always work out. Hopefully 2010 will work out great also.

Lots of love and Thanks for those thoughts and Prayers
Have a very happy New Year
Vic Nancy, Heather, Allen, Pierce, Preston, Grace and Patrick, Xander Jon and especially Hillary