Catastrophe today

Catastrophe today, my dog found the rotten, raw meat my dad dumped in the woods when he bought a new freezer. Do you want to guess what happened?
She had explosive diarrhea starting halfway down the stairs to the second floor, in the foyer, and out the front door. My genius german shepard did manage to open the front door, but I’d think she was smarter if she could make it out the door before the accident.
I scrubbed for an hour and a half, huffing and puffing, without even reaching the mess at the stairs before deciding this was a mess for a professional. I started frantically calling cleaners. “No appointments for a week,” I heard. Another answering machine, “Hi, this is Hillary St.P. My dog had explosive diarrhea on my carpet, I was hoping you had an appointment today. Call me back.”
Art’s Cleaning Service showed up at 3pm. I never wanted to plant a big juicy kiss on a cleaner so badly. They rounded the corner and said, “Oh, your DOG had explosive diarrhea.” Apparently, in my haste, they were expecting a LORI whose DAD had explosive diarrhea down the stairs.
Oops. Next time I’ll try to not get so excited and speak clearly. And you didn't think I had normal problems too :)