Baldies' Blog began originally in the UK by a 26 year old journalist with a blood cancer on a mission to inform the world about bone marrow donation.

He has since died, and I took on the cause of making cancer care more transparent for everybody.

Cancer is a disease that will touch everybody through diagnosis or affiliation: 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed and 1 in 3 woman will hear those words, "You Have Cancer."

I invite you to read how I feel along my journey and
how I am continuing to live a full life alongside my Hodgkin's lymphoma, with me controlling my cancer, not my cancer controlling me.

I hope that "Baldies' Blog" will prepare you to handle whatever life sends you, but especially if it's the message, "You Have Cancer."

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Monday, May 17, 2010

Weekend Update

I decided I was going to watch my weight this weekend.
 I watched it go up two lbs. One lb. For each day.
 How the hell does this happen? 
I think I'll give up and wait for an infection to send me back to my normal, scrawny state. 
At least I know my new boobs aren't shrinking since I'm sure I'll lose weight in the chest before anywhere else. It's the way life works.
 On fri. my fab male nurse kevin was dutifully starting to change my dressing when he suddenly stopped and said, "oh, sorry, I don't even know if carol is here, are you ok with me changing your dressing?"
 My first response was horror. Was he inexperienced? Incapable? Was he going tro kill me by giving me an infection? Worse, did he have some sort of disciplinary action against him? Was he the black widower of dressing changers? 
".....Because the location may make you uncomfortable." He ended. 
Ooooohhhhh, I burst out laughing. 
Because I have cleavage!!! Where my port was once innocently placed on bone, I now have breats where I've never had them before! 
Thank goodness. I breathed a sigh of relief. THAT problem never crossed my mind.
I like that. It is my excuse as to why the dresses I once wore are now shirts that barely cover my bum. That certainly couldn't be caused by my stomach.
Now that I've accepted my voluptuousness, I think it's time to play up my ass......ets. 
I'm going out to buy some reasonable fitting bras that will help the ladies realize their full potential. 
In further news, J and I escaped on a coveted date night sat.
 I don't remember the last time we had one of these but we're guessing it was in the fall sometime.
Yes, there are times that we "get away" to such exotic locations like Mass Eye and Ear or Dana Farber, but this was the first our time in ...... Yeah, that long, Together, just enjoying. 
I made it a group date with some friends.
 When 3pm rolled around j and I were scrambling to pack up our chairs from the side lines of x's baseball game and book it to freedom: an entire night with adults.
 X was two when I knew I had cancer. I was still carrying him in my arms from the car. He was wearing pull-ups, trying to get potty trained. My friends were also in a very different place: their early twenties. 
Most were single but looking which made late nights dancing and drinking their favorite fete. It was terrible adjusting from life in nyc to nh, then again to life as a free single woman to a career family oriented wife, but the worst was the transition from healthy to ill. 
Many friends were not understanding or accomodating to the fact that I wanted to be in bed by 9pm, I certainly wasn't going to leave for the bar at that hour. 
I remember trying to get these same friends to "do lunch" and being blown off. 
Yes, with disease comes a lot of losses and among those are fair weather friends, but what I received in return is the understanding and comfortable acceptance that not every person or every friend can be everything you want them to be. You have to accept them for who they are and what they have to offer as a unique individual. 
It's rare to find those fabulous few who meet all our criteria, and even if a tragedy beyond control happens, that doesn't mean your best friends will/can grow up with you. 
Remembering these things really puts into perspective how long I've been fighting and How long we've been suffering as a family. 
Not a problem any more.
 Dinner and a movie took place as a late matinee starting at 3:40. (Robin Hood. I was disappointed. It's more gladiator meets quesi-do-gooder than rob the rich to feed the poor. Would have been made better with more shirtless crowe scenes). 
New Socials, the new restuarant that now stands in place of Sophie and Zekes, made up for the disappointing movie. The lobster rolls are a new fresh take on a new england favorite and the steak tips were cooked to perfection (Hey, if I'm getting out, I'm going out right). Everybody in our party was impressed with their food. 
All of you in the area, I'm giving you the green light to go.
But for desert, check out Le Moo's (on River rd.; rte 12A), which is now open for the season. This is a barn cum ice cream shop with with beautiful murals and spacious sitting areas to lounge in. Another barn is set up with picnic tables and indoor games. The best thing about le moos (owned by the LeMieux's) other than being around the corner from my house and reasonably priced is.... It was created and run by high school students. 
Yes, these young entrepreneurs pitched the idea to their parents and their parents let their imaginations run wild. 
How is that for a weekend update: Good things are happening in claremont and in my life. Let's hope the trend keeps up. 

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