Simon Says

The one bonus of being deathly ill are al the cute litle doctors that run around trying to save you.
Not that, at the time, I really notice, mostly I wonder if they're competent enough, being my age, to handle my case.
I came to the ER on Monday after trying to treat myself for pneumonia with levaquin at home Sunday night.
I just really didn't feellike leaving the comfort of my own home and bed.
I always do this. I know I'm getting sick before it will show on an x-ray, and instead of running screaming to the hospital to stop the plumet downhill, I stay at home to "sleep it off."
You'd think after 4 years, I'd know it wasn't going to magically go away.
It never has.
I finally promised mom I won't do it any more, especially after the ER visit found two blood clots in my lungs along with my pneumonia.
I've gone through the gamet of symptoms this week: SOB, hallucinations, nasue, vomiting, diarrhea, uhg.
Now, I'm done and better than ever.
Who knows how long those buggers were hiding out in my lungs, waiting to kill me.
Thank goodness those were caught.
Even after all these years, I'm still not emotional ready to die.
I think coping would be easier if I didn't have X, if I didn't have responsabilities.
Then I could view myself as a complete burden, but I'm not.
I'm not ready, no metter how prepared I am.
I've always had a strong faith in God but the time just isn't right yet.