Get That Virus Gone

I'm finally coming around..... A little. I feel druggy and fuzzy since I've been making myself druggy and fuzzy with little relief, especially from those over worked intercostal muscles, the ones that assist my lungs as I'm try to gasp in air. 

I'm like a guppy a lot of the time. My head lifts up to open the airway and I gasp, gasp, gasp for air. It's very scary (obviously) and painful since this over works the surrounding muscles. 

This is why people with COPD can get a barrel chest, too much exercising of the wrong muscles.

 I wish I had an algorithm to determine how long I'd be out of commission and what exactly would happen with these episodes. I guess I can call this one a virus, and it isn't life threatening, just painful.

Now that I've been treatment free for a while I amm starting to tell what will be chronic pain from side effects, like COPD.

Sadly, I'm still in a lot of pain. Pushing through to strengthen isn't going to work this time. I'm relying on herbal tinctures and my bone marrow soup.

The first soup I made helped.

 Since then, I've had amotivational syndrome in the worst way, probably from those cesamet pills that used to work so well. Now, they're just putting me to sleep.

I have anhedonia (there's one for your inner dictionary) where nothing seems to bring me joy anymore, and I don't know why. Maybe it's a combo of illness and depression. It's hard for me to tell the difference. 

Beef bones for marrow soup

Is it illness or is it depression keeping me in bed? I often tell myself it's emotional only to over tire and sicken myself further. Its hard for me to tell. 

I've been so tired I've only been waking for x, when he wakes up, and catering to his in and out. I see Dr. G Mon. I can't believe Aug. Came so quickly! Here is to hoping this virus gets gone and praying my energy will come back.