Baldies' Blog began originally in the UK by a 26 year old journalist with a blood cancer on a mission to inform the world about bone marrow donation.

He has since died, and I took on the cause of making cancer care more transparent for everybody.

Cancer is a disease that will touch everybody through diagnosis or affiliation: 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed and 1 in 3 woman will hear those words, "You Have Cancer."

I invite you to read how I feel along my journey and
how I am continuing to live a full life alongside my Hodgkin's lymphoma, with me controlling my cancer, not my cancer controlling me.

I hope that "Baldies' Blog" will prepare you to handle whatever life sends you, but especially if it's the message, "You Have Cancer."

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Sunday, September 21, 2008

Phone Call From God

It’s been my experience that everything happens for a reason. I’m hoping, eventually, I’ll get the big picture. I’ll understand the joke. One of my favorite quotes is, “If you’re not laughing at life, you’re not getting the joke.” Sometime, I’ll look back at this and laugh, or if not, I’ll at least be amused. Or if the alternate happens, I picture death like waking up from a dream and having an epiphany. The first thought would be “Oh, now I get it.”

I received a call last night from Fr. Stan on behalf of God. Fr. Stan was wondering what many of us probably have wondered. “Why shingles, God? Hillary was all prepared to start her transplant, and she couldn’t. She has been postponed again.”

God answered, “Hillary will be a support to people in her situation. She needs more time.”

Fr. Stan could barely contain his excitement in relaying the message, and I couldn’t help but break into a huge smile listening to him.

Looking back on my life, the hard times have always had the most influence. I can look at situations I thought were terrible and smile, because I now understand the reason. For example, when I became pregnant, I thought I had made a huge mistake. I thought I would never accomplish anything. Visions of welfare and medicaid haunted me. I knew where the abortion clinic was. I kept thinking, “What if this child has the cure for cancer.” I reviewed potential adoptive parents, but ultimately, as great as they were, they were not me.

Who knew I would become infertile by twenty-three. Who knew that would be my only chance to have a child of my own. I could have frozen my eggs at the beginning of therapy, but looking back, I wouldn’t have made any other decision.

Moral of the story, there is a reason for all my suffering. I hope it is to support and inspire other people. I hope people can take my experiences and expand the good to others so no one has to suffer the physical, emotional, and financial burdens I have. Please, let me know your ideas on what can be done. I would love to hear them.


Vanessa said...

I saw this im a magazine and thought about you. I dont think your ever going to find the cure for cancer Hill, but I have always wondered why god picked you and your fmaily of all people to go through this and after reading all your blogs I think I have my answer. You honestly do a wonderful job coping with all this. I for one thinkm well know I would be just the opposite, but your inspire me and many others here to not be afraid of what could happend to any of us, and to believe that its not the end just because we have "the cancer". So thank you for sharing your story. They are hard to read somtimes but then I think well jesus if she acutally went through it I can at least read it :)Take care and keep staying strong.

What Cancer Cannot do
Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple Love
It cannot shatter Hope
It cannot corrode Faith
It cannot destroy Peace
It cannot kill Friendship
It cannot suppress Memories
It Cannot silence Courage
It cannot invade the Soul
It cannot steal eternal Life
It cannot conquer the Spirit.

Anonymous said...

How interesting.How and why things are as they are. X being so glad you are home is the best..I am glad you have this we can all be facing in the same direction with you...Deb Weatherby

Anonymous said...

I am sitting here with Hill..who looks beautiful by the way...talking about the phonecall from God...Deb