Phone Call From God

It’s been my experience that everything happens for a reason. I’m hoping, eventually, I’ll get the big picture. I’ll understand the joke. One of my favorite quotes is, “If you’re not laughing at life, you’re not getting the joke.” Sometime, I’ll look back at this and laugh, or if not, I’ll at least be amused. Or if the alternate happens, I picture death like waking up from a dream and having an epiphany. The first thought would be “Oh, now I get it.”

I received a call last night from Fr. Stan on behalf of God. Fr. Stan was wondering what many of us probably have wondered. “Why shingles, God? Hillary was all prepared to start her transplant, and she couldn’t. She has been postponed again.”

God answered, “Hillary will be a support to people in her situation. She needs more time.”

Fr. Stan could barely contain his excitement in relaying the message, and I couldn’t help but break into a huge smile listening to him.

Looking back on my life, the hard times have always had the most influence. I can look at situations I thought were terrible and smile, because I now understand the reason. For example, when I became pregnant, I thought I had made a huge mistake. I thought I would never accomplish anything. Visions of welfare and medicaid haunted me. I knew where the abortion clinic was. I kept thinking, “What if this child has the cure for cancer.” I reviewed potential adoptive parents, but ultimately, as great as they were, they were not me.

Who knew I would become infertile by twenty-three. Who knew that would be my only chance to have a child of my own. I could have frozen my eggs at the beginning of therapy, but looking back, I wouldn’t have made any other decision.

Moral of the story, there is a reason for all my suffering. I hope it is to support and inspire other people. I hope people can take my experiences and expand the good to others so no one has to suffer the physical, emotional, and financial burdens I have. Please, let me know your ideas on what can be done. I would love to hear them.