I was having a rough morning. I took my medication to get out of bed to stop my hands from shaking. My muscles and my joints ached. My shingles burned across my chest and under my arm. I wanted to tape my arm to my head to stop the rubbing.
I flew out of bed to bathe and care for X, feed him breakfast, make the lunch, get my coffee, feed the dog and the cat, run, run, run before Jenn came to pick him up. My heart was racing. I was short of breath.
Then, I snapped at Xander. He was fidgeting. His foot stuck in the lining of his wind pants. He was making jokes and smiling. I wasn’t in the mood. He couldn’t get his foot through. I couldn’t either, and I snapped.
“I’m so sorry Bud,” I told him. “I’m screwing up my son. I’m a horrible mom.” I thought.
His smile didn’t break.
“Stomp out cancer, mom.” He told me. He gave me his fierce face, and started to smile wide again. He smiled my smile.
“What?” I asked. He’d never said the word “cancer” before.
“Stomp it out.” He told me and slammed his foot on the floor. He kept smiling, and I smiled too.
I got the message. It’s going to be a good day, and thank goodness he made me laugh before he confessed he’d been spending his hot lunch money on ice cream everyday.
2 comments:
There's nothing like kids to remind to you take a step back, take a deep breath, and smile. They're so good at reminding you of the innocence of the world.. Make this day a good one Hill :)
Hill--your writing is unbelievably amazing! I'm reading all your posts in utter amazement wanting to reply to so many of them. When I got to this one I just had to respond to cheer you on cause I found myself crying & laughing at the same time! You go Girl!--Sara Burbee
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