Baldies' Blog began originally in the UK by a 26 year old journalist with a blood cancer on a mission to inform the world about bone marrow donation.

He has since died, and I took on the cause of making cancer care more transparent for everybody.

Cancer is a disease that will touch everybody through diagnosis or affiliation: 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed and 1 in 3 woman will hear those words, "You Have Cancer."

I invite you to read how I feel along my journey and
how I am continuing to live a full life alongside my Hodgkin's lymphoma, with me controlling my cancer, not my cancer controlling me.

I hope that "Baldies' Blog" will prepare you to handle whatever life sends you, but especially if it's the message, "You Have Cancer."

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Thursday, April 1, 2010

As of recently I have done some soul searching, and in light of my past years of suffering, I have decided to cease any current therapies.
I've met with my providers this past week to discuss what process my body will take once I stop the photopheresis, prophylactic antibiotics, and steroids and the outlook is grim.
I will decline rapidly, probably within a month.
During this period I would like to invite you all to visit for a living funeral. . . . . .

Or instead, you could wipe away your shock and know, you've been fooled! April fools.
I think this introduction could win the prize for the sickest joke ever, and I know my sick jokes. Take a deep breath and laugh now. Your day is going to get better.
I am doing fine. I'm doing well even.
As with my normal pattern of recovery, yesterday I decided I had been feeling sick for too long. I decided I was going to resume my normal routine and I was going to enjoy it.
First things first, I had to sleep through the night.
When I'm sick, my circadian rhythms are the first to go. I have no idea what time is day or night, upside down, or in between. I sleep when my body says sleep.
My body said sleep for the majority of last week.
Unfortunately, for every reaction there is an equal or opposite reaction. After the period of random sleep comes the period of random wake.
All night long I'm waking up and puttering around.
Good thing I have hobbies, quiet ones.
I should have known my plan to push myself was a little premature when I made my cup of coffee but couldn't stomach it.
My normal, healthy, day starts with coffee.
I made it to pottery class, my Weds. ritual, and started on my very first project on the potters wheel: a set of bowls!
Did you know there are 4000 nerve endings in your hands? I've found pottery relaxing and therapeutic. Playing with clay is like meditation, and I always was a girl that liked to get down
and dirty.
Classes are offered at The League of NH Craftsman in Hanover, NH and the new session is starting soon!
I left the class feeling cleansed like I normally do only to arrive home restless.
I made myself a serious lunch: spinach artichoke tortellini with tabouli.
This is more of a lunch than I've had in a week. I've been subsisting on crackers, toast, and yogurt.
Apparently, I should have continued to subsist on this because by the time I'd picked up X and headed for Andy's house (Yes, he is home!!!!) my stomach was churning.
We went inside where I tried to tough out the pain.
I was so excited to see Andy's fam back in their environment and Andy running around having fun with Xander.
There was so much I wanted to talk to K about, to help her prepare and relax, but then the sweats kicked in.
I made sure to stay far away from Andy, but the sensations kept getting worse until all I wanted to do was curl up in the fetal position on the toilet.
Our visit turned into X staying to play at Andy's house and me going home to recover!
What a turn of events.

Today, I did get my cup of coffee and I did sleep through the night. The rest of this week is looking promising for full recovery, especially the 60 degree weather were supposed to be having today through the weekend, and that's no joke.


brynn said...

NOT FUNNY! I do appreciate your sick humor...but that was not okay! You might need to watch out because I may come and monkey bite your hump!
(i wrote this already on the wrong posting!)

Anonymous said...

Okay, now that you made my heart stop, I hope you are happy! I agree with Brynn...that was most definitely not funny!
But, I have to say, if you are up for sick jokes, you must be feeling better, and that is a good thing!
Stay strong, Hillary...and try to behave yourself!
PS. Loved the bowls.

Anonymous said...

Wow...that was a shocker..I am saying...nooooo she was doing better! Good one us all I bet...what is better than a good practical joke...especially from you!!! Heeeheee..Deb W.

Anonymous said...

Does your mother know what you are doing? sick sick sick sick

Anonymous said...

I have to just say it did get my attention! This tops all the april fools jokes I've had played on me. Hope you and your family have a Happy Easter.

Anonymous said...


It's your blog and you own it, but please don't do again this next year. I can't handle things like this.

Anonymous said...

you are disturbed...done reading your blog

Anonymous said...

Many faithful readers did not find this funny or cute.I've heard people state they will not follow this blog anymore.Very sick joke!!!!!