Baldies' Blog began originally in the UK by a 26 year old journalist with a blood cancer on a mission to inform the world about bone marrow donation.

He has since died, and I took on the cause of making cancer care more transparent for everybody.

Cancer is a disease that will touch everybody through diagnosis or affiliation: 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed and 1 in 3 woman will hear those words, "You Have Cancer."

I invite you to read how I feel along my journey and
how I am continuing to live a full life alongside my Hodgkin's lymphoma, with me controlling my cancer, not my cancer controlling me.

I hope that "Baldies' Blog" will prepare you to handle whatever life sends you, but especially if it's the message, "You Have Cancer."

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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I'm Making it

I flipped to my blog to write this morning and suddenly, for some unknown reason, my playlist skipped to "I made it."
I'll take that as a sign, thank you.
If I would survive until 30 years old or not has always been suspect in my mind. I was a frail little girl. I was always getting respiratory infections and the latest virus, like mono. Hitting 29 last August was like getting hit with a ton of bricks.
Now. . . I'm not so sure.
For the year I thought would kill me, filled with stumbling blocks like renal failure and another rapid re-occurence where high-test chemo was again recommended, the outlook so far is good.
Not only good, I barely dare to say it, but excellent.
Yesterday, I hung out with a friend in the morning, took my obligatory naps (yes, those are still needed), wrote talked on the phone, picked up the house cleaned the dishes, played with X when he got home, cooked a family dinner and was still able to stay awake and talking until past 8pm!
This is huge.
I feel like, dare I say it again, I'm normalizing!!
I'm able to shower in the morning, every morning if I want to without having the chore of washing and dressing exhaust me to the point of falling back asleep. During my first transplant, I made it a goal to shower and change my clothes everyday to feel fresh and "human."Recently, I'd go so many days without showering I'd lose count. I wasn't even able to fake that I felt good.
My "healthy make-up" had become a thing of the past. Now, I'm making lipstick and cover-up part of my am routine again, like taking my medication, brushing my teeth, and trying to write.
That's, of course, if X allows it. He has his own am routine I have to cater to.
Finally, after years of struggling to make it through side businesses, art, jewelry, books, donations, and down right begging, I finally feel well enough to try free lance writing.
I realized how much time and energy I was placing in trying to get these other ideas to work when none were paying off significantly. Some of them had also stopped making me happy.
I don't want to do things for money that do not make me happy at this point in my life.
I'm excited to try working with The VT Journal. I'll be doing two stories a week: one news and one feature of an interesting person in Claremont.
I'm just excited to be joining the world again.
That doesn't mean I'll be stopping with my jewelry, which you can find on, writing for the Huffington Post, creating Z books, or "cleaning out my closet" on facebook, but at least I won't stress over whether I can buy apples and coconut water.
I feel like I've been hiding, isolated, for years now from being forced by my  body to lie on my couch ill and in fear of getting sicker.
At least now, I'm feeling okay. I have a little more energy, and I'm hoping to hit the big 3-0 in August.
This year, I don't want pages of facebook "Happy Birthdays" I want to see faces, here, for one huge celebration of  life.
Don't live here, no problem, we have plenty of space to spare inside and out. Bring some camping gear.
Barely know me? Again, not a problem, if we've even crossed paths your invited to come over.
Never met me in your life? Still, absolutely not a problem, if you've been reading me, praying for me, feel you know me, I want you here. You've all been a part of my survival. I never would have survived this long with out your prayers and support.
But of course, after years of disappointments and near death experiences, I'm tentatively calling this a success. It's a temporary success. Thanks in large part to God who has listened to the prayers and guided my way.
I'll now the actually effectiveness of this treatment on Mon. Nov. 7th when I get my first PET scan since starting the medication. I missed all-saints day yesterday, but Let's pray for good news.

1 comment:

Devon said...

Praying for awesome results Monday!