I spoke to Dr. G last night, my hematologist.
He had planned to make it to see me in the afternoon regarding the consult he received that morning, but I had to say asta la veista and get out of that hospital.
Once I did get home, he called to consult, and now, I can officially breath a big sigh of relief.
He told me what I’d been telling everyone else, but was really professionally unconfirmed: The process of healing will take a while, but it will get better!
Ahhh! Let me just breathe a big sigh of relief.
I’d been saying this to my friends and family, but I’m pretty sure they just thought it was me being me, trying to make my optimism contagious, doing the opposite of what a drama queen does, telling everybody that something was really nothing.
I literally can breathe big sighs of relief now. I can cough too, and yawn.
These are all breathing methods that people do thoughtlessly that I haven’t been able to do since the beginning of October.
I’d start the breath, the yawn, sigh, or cough and stop when the pain became too much.
Not today, No, not today.
I accomplished my one major goal for the day, which was assisting X to school.
J and I had different ideas as to how this would happen.
I thought J was going to work and leaving me to task, alone. I called my mom to check in before work to make sure he’d dressed appropriately and wasn’t taking advantage of his sick mum.
But this didn’t have to happen. Jon arranged for him to go to work for 8:30 this week and stay until 4:30 so I could relax.
We decided on a compromise.
I would try and work my way back into doing it myself, even if it takes all week.
I think we’re both happier and more comfortable with this.
There are a lot of readjustments that must be made.
X didn’t quite know how to take the fact that we couldn’t snuggle the way he wanted, the way we always do, entangled in each other.
He ditched out on me to snuggle with Dad on the couch when he went to sleep, but he did give in and accept the limitations this morning.
LinCare, my medical equipment company, came yesterday and delivered my oxygen tanks.
I have one compressor, one huge mobile tank, and 9 9lb. that can be taken out.
I do only have one connection toaccess the oxygen within the tank, and I’m not so impressed with that.
I think I’ll call to get an other one.
Today is designated to organizing my medical equipment and medications.
Vanessa at Visiting Nurse came to admit me again.
We reviewed my meds and I ordered the meds that were getting low alongside doing the intake.
It really is exhausting.
Staying alive is a full time job.
I did finally get the strength to look back on some footage I took towards the beginning of the month.
I’m going to talk to Linda to see if she wants the scenes or if I should just publish them.
There is something eery about it. It made my hair stand on end, and I’m the one that had gone through it.
Of course, Linda gets first dibs because Val and she sent me a gift package from LUSH with cheesy magazines.
Val and Linda are evidence that what I do is a good thing. They’d be my homegirls if I were to move to B-Town or the Suburban Surrounds.
Linda was a senior editor at CNN and Val was a stand-up comedian. How could we not all mesh perfectly?
Thanks to all the people who have contacted me to show their love and support. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers.
I’ll write later about what I need for help, some meals, laundry, etc., would be so useful.
It’s hard to ask for help, but I’ll post to let you know what we need if you’re willing to help.
We’ll let the love in.
Thanks so much for everything, especially your prayers, keep them coming.
Baldies' Blog began originally in the UK by a 26 year old journalist with a blood cancer on a mission to inform the world about bone marrow donation.
He has since died, and I took on the cause of making cancer care more transparent for everybody.
Cancer is a disease that will touch everybody through diagnosis or affiliation: 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed and 1 in 3 woman will hear those words, "You Have Cancer."
I invite you to read how I feel along my journey and
how I am continuing to live a full life alongside my Hodgkin's lymphoma, with me controlling my cancer, not my cancer controlling me.
I hope that "Baldies' Blog" will prepare you to handle whatever life sends you, but especially if it's the message, "You Have Cancer."