Baldies' Blog began originally in the UK by a 26 year old journalist with a blood cancer on a mission to inform the world about bone marrow donation.

He has since died, and I took on the cause of making cancer care more transparent for everybody.

Cancer is a disease that will touch everybody through diagnosis or affiliation: 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed and 1 in 3 woman will hear those words, "You Have Cancer."

I invite you to read how I feel along my journey and
how I am continuing to live a full life alongside my Hodgkin's lymphoma, with me controlling my cancer, not my cancer controlling me.

I hope that "Baldies' Blog" will prepare you to handle whatever life sends you, but especially if it's the message, "You Have Cancer."

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Saturday, October 17, 2009

To Leave or Not to Leave


I was ready to get out of here today.
I was making plans for tomorrow.
We were going to see “Where the Wild Things are.” I could finally get something to maintain my hair (and not a razor). I would be in my home, with my animals, and my family. I may even be able to get Lei here birthday gift.
She turned ten on Tuesday. We’ve gotten her presents, but the other weekend she felt perfectly comfortable announcing she wants a pair of UGGs.
I could go for a pair of uggs, or at least some fuzzy slippers.
Except, I have my transportable chest tube drainage system.
I also still have an air leak in my lung that hasn’t healed.
Technically, the worst case scenario regarding going home is I have a hole in my lung.
If for some reason the tube is pulled out of my chest, my lung will deflate giving me a “pneumothorax,” and I’ll go into respiratory failure.
I was going forward under the belief that nothing possibly ever could happen to my tube.
That was until my long time family friend and my previous PCP called today to tell his opinion of my decision.
“You are being Hillary again.” He says, “You couldn’t answer the phone after walking around the pod last night (information he had gotten out of my dad), and you know Xander requires a lot of energy.”
“Yes,” I thought, “all true.”
I didn’t say this, of course. I still have a little teenage rebellion left in me.
He told me if I was going home it needs to be with an oxygen tank and that I need to remember how far away I am from help.
These are very good points too. He succeeded in making me think. I may now stay due to fear that leaving the hospital could kill me.
The movies, the family, fuzzy slippers and hair pieces will all be there when I get out.
I hadn’t heard this opinion. I don’t usually get a clear and concise message from anybody as to what I should do.
I told Doc he could come in and talk to the doctors themselves whenever they come in.
But now I think maybe I should stay . We’ll see.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hillary,
I am so sorry that you have had this setback. But it sounds like you have gotten good advice to stay put for a few days.
Sending you good thoughts,
Carol

heather said...

darn. i'm sorry you are having such a hard time.

did want to offer you a little ugg advice though. there is an online store that has some awesome deals. i don't know if they are always cheap prices or if there are promotions. we got uggs for 80% off! anyway, maybe you can check it out, do some shopping and pass some hospital time.

http://www.6pm.com/

hoping you'll be feeling better soon!

Jennie said...

Hey, Hil. Don't worry about getting to "Where the Wild Things Are" right away - it was sold out last night so it will be around for a while. It will give you time to be ready to do some serious laughing.
I'm still praying for that Christmas miracle and so are many others.

Anonymous said...

You go, JW! Give 'er hell! It's always going to have a doctor on the outside give you some perspective. You're lucky to have him.

We're sorry that you are under the weather, again. Here's hoping that this week brings brighter skies.

Hugs!
Alanna