It’s official, I saw my pulmonologist. My lungs are bad.

I’ve had several pulmonary function tests to gauge my breathing before that were all relatively normal.

Now, I have a “severe” obstructive pulmonary disease. It’s very likely bronchiolitis obliterans. My lungs are functioning at ¼ the capacity of a normal 27 year old.

Good news is: there are treatments.

I’m also still getting better, day by day.

I was able to run around shopping for a full day! My fatigue has very little to do with my lung problems.

I think I will return to a normalcy that I can enjoy when the smoke clears.

I don’t know if that normalcy will include coaching Xander.

I think coaching basketball may be off the list again for this year.

I always dreamed that I’d be the alpha soccer mom.

I think I still can be. I just won’t coach. I’ll do what my mom did, I’ll cart kids around, bake cookies, and spaghetti dinners, throw parties on Fridays after the games.

I don’t think rearranging my ideas constitutes a total loss.

It’s just another sacrifice I had to make to be present.

Now, I’m going to run off to see Anna, my NP, at DHMC, and I’m going all by myself!

Independence is certainly something to be thankful for.