Baldies' Blog began originally in the UK by a 26 year old journalist with a blood cancer on a mission to inform the world about bone marrow donation.

He has since died, and I took on the cause of making cancer care more transparent for everybody.

Cancer is a disease that will touch everybody through diagnosis or affiliation: 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed and 1 in 3 woman will hear those words, "You Have Cancer."

I invite you to read how I feel along my journey and
how I am continuing to live a full life alongside my Hodgkin's lymphoma, with me controlling my cancer, not my cancer controlling me.

I hope that "Baldies' Blog" will prepare you to handle whatever life sends you, but especially if it's the message, "You Have Cancer."

Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Desperately Needing

I desperately needed prednisone.

 Yesterday, for the first time in 6 weeks, I was hungry!

I ate a meal! 

Again I'm rediscovering the joys of living: Smiling, breathing, walking, and eating.

I even started cleaning and picked up my art.

 I'm finishing my jewelry and framing out photographs. 

I feel renewed thanks to the diagnosis of Addison's disease or adrenal insufficiency.

It turns out all those steroids I was taking just took over the job my body was naturally supposed to be doing.

I'm happy for the relief.

X is a little more skeptical. 

He prayed for a cure last Christmas. 

What he got was steroids. 

He felt bamboozled. He felt scammed by God and Santa, and like any clever child, knew that the two required instructions more specific than, "make my mom better."

For a while, he was asking/praying for me to be fixed with out medications. 

Now, he's refusing to pray and has resigned that I'll die. 

It's heart breaking. It is the most heart breaking aspect of my disease: the knowledge that the cancer is causing my loved ones the greatest fear and pain they'll ever experience.

At least, I could see his basketball practice last night. 

Maybe I'll get to coach a little. 

He is such a talent, and I can only pray that I can see him turn into the gentleman I know he'll be. 

That's one of the most important things in my life. That's my largest goal right now. 


Anonymous said...


You are not only a beautiful person but also a beautiful writer.

I have never met you in person but I feel that I have got to know you through your blog.

Anonymous said...


You continue to be in my prayers everyday. You are a remarkable young woman and your family is so lucky to have you in their lives.

It sounds like you might be up to enjoying some turkey and all the fixings this Thanksgiving. I'm sure when everyone thinks about what they are thankful this year, I'm sure YOU will be on the top of their list!

Anonymous said...


You are amazing. It's the most difficult thing to see someone you love struggle with any sort of pain, but most especially cancer, but everyone who watches you, especially your family and loved ones, are strengthened by the strength that you show. Someday Xander will recognize that. He'll be a strong person because of the strength that you have shown him. Don't give up. No matter what happens, you are the winner.

Chris said...

Thinking of you...

You are quite the trooper and admire your attitude. I'm also sad for X but relieved to know that he'll be such a strong person when he grows up because of this experience and seeing how strong his mother is...

Wishing you all the best :)

Chris said...

Wow, just read the previous comment and it is pretty much exactly the same!

Well, I guess there is a predominant message coming from all of this :)

Prayers and good vibes,


Loraine Ritchey said...

You are a gift and your strength and love flourishes in a lovely little boy........ thinking of you Loraine

Anonymous said...

There is nothing I can add to what folks have already commented on ... except to say that I admire your courage & keep you in my thoughts. I hope that X knows we're all pulling for the cure. Take are of yourself girl ... stay strong & know you are frequently in my thoughts.