This is going to be a quick update because again, its the weekend, and again, I'm capable of having a life!!!
That life is again going to take me to my sister's in Natick for the day (because I love and miss the Wellington family so much) with my parents driving and Xander, super traveler extrodinaire, in tow.
I've handled my chemo relatively well. I've gotten fatigued. I've gotten grouchy, but over all I've been overcome with joy.
Yes, I said it, Joy!
It's been so long since I've felt this way in the absence of just nearly averting death.
I have no doubt how healthy I've felt for such a long period of time now is to thank. My head has cleared. Hobbies I've wanted to try I now have the energy to learn and love. I'm making cartoons to go with my postings! I've always loved political satire, but never had the energy to draw. Now it's as simple as clicking and dragging! I love it. I could do this all day.
I feel like a kid learning new things and loving them, wanting to do them all the time, allowing them to consume me.
And I can dance again.
I can trace the beginning of the worst back to the point I stopped dancing. Even shimmying to the music in my car had become to difficult, too tiresome, and would cause me to lose my breath.
Jon and I have been able to make vacation plans for the future! We're tagging along with my mom on a conference to NYC in April.
We haven't experienced the joy of looking forward to the future with excitement and anticipation as a couple.
Can you imagine a marriage where the future is blank? A big black hole of scary possibilities? We didn't realize the strain it put on us.
The only downer is, Well, alongside that pesky repeal issue, I finally found a medication that absolutely alleviates my suffering, cesamet, and now it can't be ordered.
No one knows why it's off the market, but just is. A manufacturing error maybe? Anyone who can help, please do.
Hopefully the kinks will be out and it will be in my hand before chemo a week from Monday so I can keep up with the hobbies and fun.
1 comment:
Hillary, I like your cartoons and the fact that you feel like dancing is oh so wonderful!!! Have you tried Canada for the cesamet?
Somehow when I was so very close to the edge all of our laws became pretty meaningless to me. When one is in a hole you will do anything to get out. I certainly felt that way.
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