Baldies' Blog began originally in the UK by a 26 year old journalist with a blood cancer on a mission to inform the world about bone marrow donation.

He has since died, and I took on the cause of making cancer care more transparent for everybody.

Cancer is a disease that will touch everybody through diagnosis or affiliation: 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed and 1 in 3 woman will hear those words, "You Have Cancer."

I invite you to read how I feel along my journey and
how I am continuing to live a full life alongside my Hodgkin's lymphoma, with me controlling my cancer, not my cancer controlling me.

I hope that "Baldies' Blog" will prepare you to handle whatever life sends you, but especially if it's the message, "You Have Cancer."

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Saturday, January 10, 2009

Murphy’s Law

“Anything bad that can happen will. . . .”

I saw a chiropractor the other day, Dr. K gave me good news, whatever exercise I’m doing is working. My musculature is well formed for a person who has been through the ordeals I have.
This is the very lucky side of being an athlete. I’ve spent my life honing my body to make it behave and respond like I want. If I couldn’t do this myself, my coaches would help teach me.
Being a patient is kind of the same, I still need to direct my body and mind towards a goal and my coaches are now the medical staff, everyone.
Dr. K did verbalize what I think many people have thought for a long time now, my body is abnormal.
His first attempt at adjusting me in the way 98% of the population responded to failed. When he said, “Well, maybe you’re just in that 2%....” and fixed me accordingly, I felt a whole body sense of relief.
I think I’m backwards.
I don’t think there are many twin studies on this subject.
I am the split half of my sister. You can see it in our faces. Our dimples align. I’m dyslexic, and by definition, I see the world “backwards” (I prefer differently).
If you think my body may do one thing, it will probably do the opposite. Traditional methods of altering myself just go all wrong. My marinol speeds up my thoughts. If I ever had tried coke, my guess is it would slow me down.
We’ve all heard of being on “the wrong side” of something, like the tracks, or in my case, the “wrong side” of the treatment table.
On the upside, I’ve felt like this FOREVER. Maybe, one of the identical twins always do. My sister was right handed; I always wanted to be left.
Even now, despite being trained a “righty,” my musculature is much more developed on my left side. That’s not what is supposed to happen.
Gymnastics, soccer, softball, I always wanted to play left. For reasons, I was trained early to conform to the norm.
But I never really did, there is only so much that can be manipulated with teaching and environment. My neurological programming is just special.
I always thought all this was great until all hell broke loose with my body.
I can think with both hemispheres. I was once capable of holding a conversation and typing an email of a completely different subject.
When I say I could hold a conversation, my specific example is of being in the ICU, talking to the other nurses about a patient, typing an email to a friend, and holding the phone to my ear waiting for the lab to get my results.
I can multitask in a big way.
I thought everybody could do this.
It’s only been recently that I’ve realized, not everybody can.
I always did wonder what the stares were about.
I do think there was one, very large, contributing factor to how I’ve successfully managed to think “differently.” I think EVERYONE should know what it is.
My parents and my doctor, JW or “Doc,” NEVER EVER told me I was disabled or different. They adamantly refused to admit to me that anything may be “wrong.”
Most everybody else agreed (when I was younger, of course).
If I EVER suggested something was wrong, I was in for a SEVERE brow beating.
I was a “miracle child.” I could do “whatever I wanted” (You know, as far as a skill).
I think this is, or they are, what made all the difference.
It still does.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hillary, Maybe you and Heather are 'mirror' twins. My twin aunts (they're 82!!) are mirror twins. One was righty, one lefty (of course back in the 'olden days' the nuns made the lefty switch to her right hand). They grew up in Seattle and now both live there again with their spouse, and my many cousins and the grandchildren peppering the west coast. Throughout the years they had many fun 'twin' stories, but I'll share one you'll appreciate. They are both color blind, and one was living in Greece at the time and they were meeting for a cruise on a big cruiseship with tennis courts, etc. In preparation, they had each done some shopping, and the first day out on the tennis court, IDENTICAL tennis outfits, and when they put on their new ball gowns, they were the EXACT SAME COLOR, but slightly different design. Their husbands had to tell them they were the same color, because they weren't really sure! I always got such a kick out of that story. Keep up the great work!