Living awake but half asleep

I didn’t want to admit this. This is a terrible thing to know. I can barely admit the fact to myself.
The truth is I can’t hang anymore. I’m too old or too tired and the party scene seems to be gone for me if not forever, for a very long time.
I’m not even talking about the late evening into early morning scene City Scene I enjoyed until I was 25years old. I’m talking about not being able to handle a low key, alcohol free BBQ and game night. I thought I was safe not drinking. In all honesty, I didn’t really drink at the clubs in college either. Twelve dollars a drink will dissuade a broke college student from drinking.
So I thought I was safe since I don’t even drink anymore. I am just as rowdy and fun without it. I thought not drinking would make my next day rising easier.
It didn’t.
I’m living awake but half asleep.
I decided to put on make-up, and I’m talking full make-up, to inspire, or convince myself, that I am awake and will be doing big things today like traveling to Keene for a Birthday Party and maybe do dinner.
The shower and make-up did not convince me I was an awake functioning member of the world.
Thank goodness J takes X to Karate class on Sat. so I could sleep until 10am.
I never sleep until 10am.
I think the only reason I don’t is because I always have someone waking me up in the morning.
Today I feel like I could sleep and sleep and sleep and even if I do join the energetic world beyond my house, I’ll still be living awake but half asleep.
I’m crossing my fingers and hoping the coffee and breakfast will help.
I’m hoping this feeling is from staying up past my bedtime last night and not from the fever and malaise that are trying to set in an take over my life.

At least, even tired, I'm feeling artsy.
Either way, I’m going to go about my plans and enjoy them!
Have a happy weekend.