cancer casualty

There has been another casualty to cancer...... My hair. Yes, again, the writer of baldies' blog is bald. Velbam doesn't cause complete hair loss, though one study done where recipients were told they were receiving chemo but got saline instead, 30 percent still lost their hair. My hair left for several reasons. Chemo hairloss is not painless. Your scalp starts to hurt, like it's taking energy for the follicles to hold on. Sometimes it tingles. Sometimes you don't even want to rest your head. The body hair I shaved a month ago hasn't returned. Hair in, ahem, other places, has thinned. I'd kept my hair by not brushing, not washing, and pretty much just not touching it. That was until someone came down with lice. I don't think I had it, but after checking someone's hair I found a bug in my nail that could have been lice and could have come fro my head. My hair wouldn't have survived the treatments. I was okay thinking, at least, it would make the person feel better when immediately after my head shaving the darlings says, "oh, you look like a man.". On a different day, I may have let it slide, but my med combination is effecting me. All the morphine can make me weepy, the ativan makes me sleepy, and the ritalin, which has done wonders allowing me to have full, normal active days puts me on a jittery edge (think you drank expresso when it's usually decaf). I, apparently, jumped all over the popcorn guy at the theatre for trying to butter the top half of my popcorn. This is according to J. I just remember feeling with my whole body it was very important not to have the butter, which usually makes me sick. Anyway, this comment compounded with the fact that each time I've lost my hair I've received an equally rude and ignorant comment about my appearance sent me over the edge. I had to go shower and hide. I do feel comfortable now that its gone. People again are extra polite and helpful, which I need to function. I'm also trying to prepare for next week. I get chemo today and will be out of commission until about weds, but j goes away on business sun. I'll stay with my parents, but mom is getting surgery on her hips tuesday. We're just a little nervous about how it will go, but just like everything else, it will go. At least I won't have my hair to worry about.