I thought about throwing out the glass baking dish from dinner with the chicken remnants in it last night instead of cleaning it.
That's how tired I was.
Luckily, J was there to save our bakeware.
I haven't even started chemo yet, but at the end of the day I'm useless.
It's been like that for a long time now.
But I've had it.
My big fat face and juicy ass.... ets are driving me crazy.
I stand in front of the mirror and suck in my cheeks or squish them in hoping they'll stay where they rightfully belong.
I want my damn face back!!!
It's been hijacked!
But who knows when that is going to happen.
If I had my face, I could deal with the curves.
I don't think I look terrible as a big girl.
I think I'm kinda cute. I'm rockin the look, but I'm thinking of it as an experience.
I'm just vacationing in the big girl club, just a tourist.
My body has been hijacked by steroids.
I'm thinking of it like pregnancy.
A year of bodily chaos for years of joy.
That's what I'm trying to convince myself.
But now I'm taking only 5mg of pred with no sign of dropping below 155lbs. And supposedly, I could have adrenal insufficiency from therapy, which would make me THIN!!
The same with lung disease. That's supposed to make me THIN.
I also do excercise, a little less than before, but I walk a half mile daily. It's done nothing to firm my ba-donk-a-donk.
Ugh. I just hope it's temporary.
I won't even go into how devastating it is that I can't work my butt off, literally, by playing soccer. That's a whole other posting with tears involved.
Damn lungs. Let's pray they keep holding up.
I have my first real business teleconference today ever!
Yes, in this instance, I'm a newbie. I'm a virgin.
I love the idea of having a business meeting in my pjs.
During our convo, I'll have the berry attached until I get in for pharesis.
I'm choosing to concentrate on this instead of he impending therapy.
It's said helping others is a good way to feel better about yourself and increase your energy.
It really does work.
You all should try it.
Start by copying and pasting my Extreme Make Over application into word, printing out an application from the link, and nominating the Ford Fam.
That can be your good deed.
Let me know how great you feel afterwards.