Baldies' Blog began originally in the UK by a 26 year old journalist with a blood cancer on a mission to inform the world about bone marrow donation.

He has since died, and I took on the cause of making cancer care more transparent for everybody.

Cancer is a disease that will touch everybody through diagnosis or affiliation: 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed and 1 in 3 woman will hear those words, "You Have Cancer."

I invite you to read how I feel along my journey and
how I am continuing to live a full life alongside my Hodgkin's lymphoma, with me controlling my cancer, not my cancer controlling me.

I hope that "Baldies' Blog" will prepare you to handle whatever life sends you, but especially if it's the message, "You Have Cancer."

Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones

Sunday, April 17, 2011

The Unconscious Mind: Where do We go when we're "gone"?

Again, when I was my sickest my mind left me. 
Again, I was lucid enough to answer questions, but only between rambling incoherently. 
My parents liken this to speaking in tongues. 
"Tongues" are a religious concept, a gift from God, said to convey messages when the person is taken over by the Holy Spirit.
This aside, it scares everybody that's seen it.
I want it video taped to I see what I do.

I know I was in an alternate state of consciousness not induced by medications because I allowed myself to go there. Last Monday, I gave in to what my body wanted to do, where it wanted to go when I was my sickest.
 But where is there?
 I don't even know. 
Nobody does. 
No expert can tell you what your conscious self does while under anesthesia or in a coma or even when blacked out drunk, but people are still routinely and safely put under anesthesia and brought back daily. 
So where do we go? 
What I know is my transcendence into these fits started slowly. 
First, I regressed memories, unable to recall weeks after my first transplant or certain traumatizing events. 
I went with freud on this theory, those are hiding in my subconscious. 
My coma was a different experience. Pain and time ceased to exist, but my mind was still active. 
The tongues started years later with septicemia. 
I thought it was me not being able to differentiate between reality and my dreams or between this world and the next.
 I'd combine the two, but that was when what I said made sense. 
Now I speak polite nonsense when my body is threatened with death, and there is only one theory I think can explain why this happens as I'm near death. 
Get ready for the geek within me to come out, and feel free to correct my science. It's been a while.
Mitochondrial DNA is known to create energy (ATP). Within our mitochondrial dna (located in the mitochondria) there are microtubules which were previously thought to only assist in protein synthesis, but now with research its known when under anesthesia the microtubules continue functioning or may increase function with neurons, firing across previously unused synapses, forming different paths of energy flow very similar to black holes in our solar system. 
In english, an unexplained energy is created when in alternate states like under anesthesia or in a coma.
This is where astrophysics meets science meets the higher power and our ultimate fate.
This is the only theory that allows for our energy to survive outside ourselves. Mitochondrial DNA can survive millennia. 
It makes sense if we're created in the likeness of a higher power that our souls could function as a mini-solar system, thus allowing this essence or energy to survive outside our physical bodies. 
That the answer may be contained within the mitochondrial dna would make even more sense: it's the most simple, raw type of dna that can collected and analyzed millenia after the person has gone. 
Mitochondrial dna is linked to the maternal genes which only allows for half answers, but if you ascribe to any theory where the divine feminine rules, know woman not only assist in creating life but they may pass the ability to hold on to life everlasting through the messages between the microtubules within the mitochondrial dna. 
But this is all theory. One piece of info put together with another to explain how there is a higher power within all of us and that having faith and believing in science are not mutually exclusive, but one in the same.
I hadn't done a "science geek" segment in a while, and it is the Lenten Season. 
With this theory,  one can assume that a "hell" can be created by your own actions, just like is said in many religions.  Your actions can cause the damage or death of the neural messages contained between the tubules. The energy can not exist within and it can't continue on without you. 
Maybe, That's why Your body is your temple.


bodylift said...

Amazing post. These are your thoughts and really superb. You define very well about mind's consciousness and unconsciousness. I will collect this information.

Loraine Ritchey said...

Hilary, once again your thoughts have touched me. The last few days when we lost all communication with my son Chris even through his hands I have been consumed as a mother with the fear that he could hear what was happening and around him. Although his sister, father and I never said anything that could have caused him panic or wasn't positive and hopeful ..... his wife and mother in law were deciding his coffin attire what funeral home and where the best place to park.... and the Drs. telling of the prognosis as he lay there when she was in the room.I wouldn't let anyone say anthing about his condition as he lay there .I was the one that saw his tears when they put him on the vent I heard his last words I know how scared he was...... ....... I have been so worried that he lay trapped in his body his mind fighting to reach out at what they were doing ....scared and trapped as he was...... However your words as to what happens over the months I have been reading your posts have given me more comfort than you will ever know as to what happens when one is dealing with those experiences........ thank you for being you Hilary and your bravery