Waiting For a Miracle

When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I knew I would suffer horribly before I was cured. I knew this because I felt my cancer was part of my purpose, part of the divine master plan of the universe, to help restore faith to humanity by me exhausting all human avenues to cure my cancer so God could work a miracle in curing me. This would restore faith to some and all the suffering would be worth while. 

Heaven and Earth, painted by an 8 year old savant who
is inspired by visits to heaven.

Five years later, I've exhausted all common treatment regimens. I moved on to educated experimentation in conjunction with my doctor hoping to turn my cancer into a manageable chronic disease. I've also started with the best of complementary therapy I can find in the world to maintain my ability to fight.

And Finally, at the beginning of my newest chemo regimen, Bendamustine, I went to a healing mass. 

I had always wanted to attend one. I envisioned huge pomp and circumstance. I was met with a quiet ceremony by a humble healer who only laid his hands on me for a moment. 

Now, after three doses of this regimen, my PET scan shows enlarged lymph nodes, but they don't appear to be cancerous; however, the word remission is far from our lips.

 My disease pattern tells us that my cancer will return again and again. I still have hope and faith though that maybe my time for suffering is over and all the prayers from everyone will be answered with a miracle.

Please keep those prayers coming.