Baldies' Blog began originally in the UK by a 26 year old journalist with a blood cancer on a mission to inform the world about bone marrow donation.

He has since died, and I took on the cause of making cancer care more transparent for everybody.

Cancer is a disease that will touch everybody through diagnosis or affiliation: 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed and 1 in 3 woman will hear those words, "You Have Cancer."

I invite you to read how I feel along my journey and
how I am continuing to live a full life alongside my Hodgkin's lymphoma, with me controlling my cancer, not my cancer controlling me.

I hope that "Baldies' Blog" will prepare you to handle whatever life sends you, but especially if it's the message, "You Have Cancer."

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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Juicy Gossip Special for my readers

-A crazy person has the capability to drive a sane person crazy

It's been a while since I disclosed some juicy drama, cheesy gossip, or downight smut here. Political opinion posts don't count. I've been busy applying for a SAMfund Grant, which will hopefully cover some of my medical costs, finishing my first book, organizing and understanding my finances to purchase our home and take out some equity (it doesn't look like I can afford Cordycep at this time), playing with X, coaching soccer, and sleeping A LOT to recover from my last chemo. I was also busy being a physical train wreck, but now that I'm hopefully on break from emergency hospitalizations, I've had a run-in with woman drama all ready. 

In general, I try to avoid conflict. I'm the middle child, known to be the peace maker. That doesn't mean I haven't been dragged into some fights in the past or even started them on my own. I'm certainly not one to back down when challenged. 

But facing a near fatal disease does change your perspective. First, I want my soul to be in good standing with my maker. That's what inspired the biggest effort to change any gossipy and judgemental ways. It hasn't been easy. 

Second, my priorities have changed. I see what's important and what's not. I'm not interested in saying hurtful things to anybody. I don't have space in my life for problem makers. It's not about being right for me. I just want to be happy. To be happy I don't dwell on negatives or bad things from the past that someone may or may not have done. I don't even think about bad people. Why clutter my mind with that? A crazy person has the capability to drive a sane person crazy. I don't need anymore help going crazy. 

Then third, very simply, it doesn't make anybody feel good. Why do it?

But, Yes, I still fail. I push buttons knowing it will irritate someone, most specifically my husband.
 But on this particular day, this particular fight, I can honestly say I didn't do anything to instigate anything. I didn't push buttons to start or continue a fight. It really came out of no where. 

I can say this with absolute conviction because the back drop for this incident was The Relay For Life!

 I'm just not the type to get in screaming matches ever, but definately not at charity events in front of hundreds of people, especially the relay which is a celebration representing the strength of those who have survived. 

My team and I had a great time. We bonded. 

Everything was good until we were leaving and I asked a soccer question to another attendee. When the answer didn't fit what I heard, I was confused and tried to clarify.

I immediately saw her tense up. I tried to tell her I was just trying to clarify something, but that just made her jaw tense and tears well up in her eyes.

At this point, I did think about pushing her buttons and making her look like an ass (old habits die hard) but instead started back pedaling hard knowing lots of kids were around (it's not acceptable to fight or have adult conversations in fron of children, they don't need the stress) saying I could figure it out with someone else or she could work it out with them.

I didn't want to ruin a good time during a good cause. The air was filled with laughter. The kids were playing in a place where no one complained about their yelling or running.

But it was too late, the domino effect had been started and couldn't be stopped. "ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR?" She hissed at me so loud the hundred people remaining could hear.

I wanted to laugh because no, in no way, did I call or insinuate she was a liar. I asked a question and when her answer wasn't exactly what I heard, I tried to clarify to understand, and then when I saw the face change, I tried to step back and offer the chick a way out that was not a temper tantrum. 

But a temper tantrum is what ensued in front of my family including the in-laws and a hundred+ relay goers. It was something straight out of The Real Housewives. She didn't flip any tables. She didn't drop F bombs and threaten to kill me like in the past. Maybe it's because she was in public. Maybe it's because she knows I've had it with her shenanigans and wouldn't pause to press charges. 

One of my team mates quickly disappeared, clearly embarassed. Another ran up to get a front row seat. X stood, mouth open, shocked, at a distance because he doesn't see adult screaming matches. We try to shelter him, but there was no hiding this one. 

"Get in the car kids" she screamed, gesturing widely.

 "I don't care what you think about me!!!!" She screamed again as she was rushing out. 

"Ok, good to know." I thought to myself, since I really don't take much time out of my life to determine judgements about her unless someone else brings her up who she is also hurting. 
Other than that, Why would I? It would be depressing.

 What she was saying sounded like something straight out of a junior high fight, or even something a six year old may yell at their mother.

X started to cry hysterically that his friend was being taken away. "Well," she hissed again, "the kids can still play together because that's what's best for them" she snarled, storming away. 

I'd say not starting screaming and acting hysterical in front of them was what would be best, but hey, what do I know?

"I'd start looking for a new babysitter!" I hollered at her back, not interested in getting bullied, taking screaming abuse from nowhere, then doing her a favor the next day. 

I hate that this happened. It was a misunderstanding that would have been easily worked out with anybody else. But she's not anybody else. Honestly, I can't talk to this woman because I have no idea what will set off this abuse.

I'm not looking for sympathy or pretending to be innocent, because I have in the past passed judgement. She is not my favorite person, but really, it's because she needs to get her act together.

 Now, mostly, I'm just sad for her that she can't maintain a long term loving relationship without ruining it. Must be a lonely life.

To leave on a good note, I took my first jewelry making
class ever Sunday! Look what I learned to make! So exciting.
Charm, bead color, wording can all be customized!
I've always wanted to know how to do this. Now I do!
What is the worst about this is the effect on the kids. Xander, seeing her behavior and hearing what she said, decided to antagonize his friend immediately afterwards, calling him a liar and saying "I can't believe anything that comes out of your mouth." completely out of no where, psychologically bullying this other kid.

I told him I did not teach him to behave like this and he would be losing his friend privileges if he kept it up, but his smart-ass said I did teach him, by fighting in front of him. 

Grrrr, do not mess with my baby, especially the good behavior I want him to have. It took me an hour to get the two to get along, and only then because I took their side, saying their lives must be so hard and thank goodness they had each other.

I sent a text to the chick saying I would babysit granted she apologized and promised to never fight or behave like that in front of the kids. She replied again with an, "I don't care what you think!"

Ok, point made, but I'm guessing she does care or else she wouldn't feel the need to scream it all over. 

Hope you enjoyed the juicy gossip that is my life. Thought you might like a little insight. 


Anonymous said...

i love the necklace hillary, and am sorry this happened, i do agree :(

Sandy said...

Love the necklace && the tantrum was pretty special too. ;)