Xander asked who he would live with if both Dad and I died while he were driving to school yesterday.
He asked it like he was asking if I was cooking meatloaf or chicken for dinner.
He's picked up my technique of bring up uncomfortable topics in the car when there is a set, small amount of time we'll be together with a clear beginning and the end.
It was the first time he said, "Well, you could die of cancer."
I wasn't shocked by the question.
In fact, I was more prepared than most other parents. I remember asking this question out of curiosity when I was about his age.
Instead of outright answering his question, which my mom did when I asked the very same question as a child, I asked him what he would want.
"I want to go live with Aunt Heather and Allen." He said, calmly.
"Ok." I said, surprised. Wondering if he understood that living with Heather and Allen meant he would have to move, make new friends, and resume school and sports elsewhere.
I started to say as much but he interjected with, "IS going with them going to get in the way of anything?"
Oh, so he had really thought about it.
"Well, you'd have to move and go to a different school."
"No MOM," he said "Will seeing them get in the way of anything we have planned this weekend?"
"Oh, no, it won't" I said, surprised at his sudden shift from the future to our plans to visit their new home this weekend.
But maybe he doesn't see the question as so far flung.
Everything has been going relatively well. We haven't had any huge setbacks.
When this happens, when he have a period of good times, we start to wonder what's lurking around the corner.
We can't, really, be getting a break can we?
We're anxious, on our toes, all of us, waiting for the proverbial rug to be ripped out from underneath us.
Of course, when the health issues clear even a little, other problems arise to the surface.
I'm choosing to address everything directly, then move on.
I know what I want and I have a plan.
Issues are arising because we are undergoing a period of transition.
School is ending. Summer vacation is starting. Soccer season is starting. Baseball is ending. Camping and traveling with be coming. X is transitioning to his very own bed, and then, up to his room.
It's a period of change. Though it's normal change, we all feel it, and it's adding to the existing anxiety.
Hopefully seeing my sister this weekend with Xander along with my Bro-in-law and nephews will kick the summer off right. We'll see.
He asked it like he was asking if I was cooking meatloaf or chicken for dinner.
He's picked up my technique of bring up uncomfortable topics in the car when there is a set, small amount of time we'll be together with a clear beginning and the end.
It was the first time he said, "Well, you could die of cancer."
I wasn't shocked by the question.
In fact, I was more prepared than most other parents. I remember asking this question out of curiosity when I was about his age.
Instead of outright answering his question, which my mom did when I asked the very same question as a child, I asked him what he would want.
"I want to go live with Aunt Heather and Allen." He said, calmly.
"Ok." I said, surprised. Wondering if he understood that living with Heather and Allen meant he would have to move, make new friends, and resume school and sports elsewhere.
I started to say as much but he interjected with, "IS going with them going to get in the way of anything?"
Oh, so he had really thought about it.
"Well, you'd have to move and go to a different school."
"No MOM," he said "Will seeing them get in the way of anything we have planned this weekend?"
"Oh, no, it won't" I said, surprised at his sudden shift from the future to our plans to visit their new home this weekend.
But maybe he doesn't see the question as so far flung.
Everything has been going relatively well. We haven't had any huge setbacks.
When this happens, when he have a period of good times, we start to wonder what's lurking around the corner.
We can't, really, be getting a break can we?
We're anxious, on our toes, all of us, waiting for the proverbial rug to be ripped out from underneath us.
Of course, when the health issues clear even a little, other problems arise to the surface.
I'm choosing to address everything directly, then move on.
I know what I want and I have a plan.
Issues are arising because we are undergoing a period of transition.
School is ending. Summer vacation is starting. Soccer season is starting. Baseball is ending. Camping and traveling with be coming. X is transitioning to his very own bed, and then, up to his room.
It's a period of change. Though it's normal change, we all feel it, and it's adding to the existing anxiety.
Hopefully seeing my sister this weekend with Xander along with my Bro-in-law and nephews will kick the summer off right. We'll see.
No comments:
Post a Comment