Baldies' Blog began originally in the UK by a 26 year old journalist with a blood cancer on a mission to inform the world about bone marrow donation.

He has since died, and I took on the cause of making cancer care more transparent for everybody.

Cancer is a disease that will touch everybody through diagnosis or affiliation: 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed and 1 in 3 woman will hear those words, "You Have Cancer."

I invite you to read how I feel along my journey and
how I am continuing to live a full life alongside my Hodgkin's lymphoma, with me controlling my cancer, not my cancer controlling me.

I hope that "Baldies' Blog" will prepare you to handle whatever life sends you, but especially if it's the message, "You Have Cancer."

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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Still sick: Happy 2012

I haven't been this ill since my first transplant when mucositis tore out my bowel. Literally, my entire GI tract was one big oozing hole of pain with multitudes of cancres. I've been through lung failure, septicemia, relapses and kidney failures but none other will make you feel as terminally ill than this. I advise avoiding pain at all costs, but if you have to avoid it piece by piece 1. Don't mess with the eyes or teeth 2. Don't hurt the lungs/ability to breathe. The second will make you feel like you're dying. The first is so unbearable you'll want to kill yourself. 3. Do not get an inflammatory bowel issue. It will rule your life. I haven't had a meal in over a month. I'm still dropping weight despite the steroids. I think I need to take at least 60mg daily, but I've been taking 50mg. I've been too sick to call. I tried to get J to before I realized what it would take to get a decent prednisone order on Dec. 31st. But what is the worst about being sick, the most terrible thing is how it tears up your personality, sucking out all the energy for jokes, dancing and laughter. I've been losing my ability to have and be fun. Its hard to initiate when you can barely move. I'm lucky other people have picked it up. Good thing my fam won't let me get away without being silly. Cheers to 2012. The media aren't the messages; the messages are the media.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hillary,
I certainly hope that 2012 brings you relief from pain, the health that you deserve, and the desire to dance and sing and be silly once again.
Happy New Year. May nothing but good things come your way.
Carol

Loraine Ritchey said...

Oh Hillary , I wish I could take s your pain from you .......just know there are so many that wish you the light of laughter again soon Loraine

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