It takes a lot of loss to truly appreciate the "small" things in life, and realize how nothing is ever "small.". I thought I had gratitude for my needs and activities of everyday living, like eating, breathing, and moving pain free. I knew I was lucky before I got sick, but these were "small," inconsequential occurences that my body took care of naturally. Well, now my body doesn't eat and digest naturally, breathe easily, or survive without pain. The temporary relief I receive when the medications are correct are the best in my life. I feel like I'm in heaven, floating on air, But I rarely get there. The floating could be from the mind altering meds too. I don't care how the feeling of "almost normal" happens. Good news is, I think I'm rounding the bend. I'll be getting the elation of survival sometime. Just keep saying those prayers. Fri. Jan. 13 was the Feast of St. Hilary. A favorite day of mine, Fr. Stan had a special mass for me that day planned without the knowledge of my feast day. St. Hilary was a writer, exiled, he wrote to promote the church and has the first known published catholic text in the Americas, at least I think. Wouldn't want to lie about a saint, but how cool is that?
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