Baldies' Blog began originally in the UK by a 26 year old journalist with a blood cancer on a mission to inform the world about bone marrow donation.

He has since died, and I took on the cause of making cancer care more transparent for everybody.

Cancer is a disease that will touch everybody through diagnosis or affiliation: 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed and 1 in 3 woman will hear those words, "You Have Cancer."

I invite you to read how I feel along my journey and
how I am continuing to live a full life alongside my Hodgkin's lymphoma, with me controlling my cancer, not my cancer controlling me.

I hope that "Baldies' Blog" will prepare you to handle whatever life sends you, but especially if it's the message, "You Have Cancer."

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Wednesday, April 22, 2009


I think we have all points in our lives when things are so stressful that one more question, one more problem, and we feel like someone is pushing to the edge of our sanity.
Really, let’s be real, I think most of us have snapped at someone when we have too much on our plate, too many classes, too many patients, to many orders to execute and that one extra request is going to make our head explode, and when that happens, the target of our frustration is the person requesting that damn favor, errand, chore, order, etc.
You’ve hit a wall. Your brain has been overloaded. It has all the information it can handle.
Now, imagine this terrible stress, day after day, month after month, year after year.
Yes, folks, this is where I live. This is where my family lives.
After a while, you get accustomed to the stress. You base level stress rises, like a pain tolerance.
What shock and horrify other people fails to even register on your radar. It certainly does not offend your sensibilities.
What has shocked me through my entire experience, is how common this feeling is among families with a sick member. It doesn’t matter is the loved one is suffering from autism, cancer, or multiple sclerosis. It doesn’t matter if the family is headed by an engineer or psychiatrist while the partner has advanced degrees in education or nursing. It also doesn’t matter if the family is Hispanic, Black, or White.
The same feeling and the same response to stress exists.
It never ceases to amaze me that despite how superficially different we may seem based on education, color, or race when faced with a circumstance that is threatening to life or livelihood we all respond in similar manners.
People have said they can’t begin to understand what I am going through. Unless they’ve walked in my shoes, they just don’t get it.
I didn’t want to believe them. Are we really that different? Do we really have that many problems?
Yes, we do.
I thought if I could explain how I felt while I was feeling it, people would understand.
They don’t. I appreciate they try. That’s all anyone can do, is do the best with the information they have.
Our situation is sensitive. We’re a family that has been dealt one bad hand after another.
People want to see what it’s like. They want to try to understand, but it’s true, unless they’ve been in my shoes they don’t quite understand.
It’s a self protection mechanism.
Nobody really wants to believe, in their heart and soul, that my family could be theirs.
It’s too big a dose of reality. It’s a downer. It’s a scary place to be.

2 comments:

Susan said...

Husband was dx'd with cancer. He had successful surgery and is recovering still. He doesn't verbalize what he is going through very much. You help me gain insight into what he may be feeling but not saying. Appreciate your writing skills + ability to put into words what you are thinking + feeling! Stress is a major part of our life, but we have nothing for stress compared to you and your family. You are all in my prayers.
Susan

Anonymous said...

Amen..., only those of us who have been down this road know how truly blessed those who haven't are.

Jane