I said early after my very first relapse that, maybe, God was using me, that I'd have to suffer horribly until my treatment options ran out and only then could I be cured.
Because only then could all the prayers be answered. Then people would know I was absolutely a miracle from God and faith could be restored to many.
At the time, I didn't realize how many treatment options for hodgkins were out there.
Now, as I get closer to the point where treatments have failed, I'm not afraid as I was once.
I have faith that if this is my purpose, that this has a purpose, and it will be done.