I've been writing like I'm invincible, like I have some control over my body and health.
I think it's time to admit just what it takes to get me, or any person who has battled cancer for years, to get moving, to get out of bed, or out of the house.
I stopped posting my medlist on the side bar because the contents would take up all the space, But here goes the routine: first morphine extended release, 60mg, hopefully before I even get out of bed.
Let's be real, do you think that really happens with a 7 year old tugging at me saying "It's time to get up?"
I grab my bag 'o meds, drink, cell phone, and clothes to bring out to the livingroom where I do finally take my pill. Then I go and get a fresh drink of juice and maybe cereal to control my blood sugar and fight the urge to vomit.
I take this in before I start in on my everyday morning meds. These include synthroid which replaces my thyroid hormone, prednisone, which I take to replace the function of my adrenal glands and control inflammation, famcyclovir, to help my immune system fight viral infection, zithromax 250MG as part of my bronchiolitis obliterans regimen, and mepron which protects me against PCP pneumonia.
I am a bionic woman, just about every hormone, organ, or bodily function is regulated by a pill, and these are just my everyday, long term maladies.
Usually by the end of taking my everyday am meds I've started to feel whatever will ail me for the day.
You didn't think all those pills would cure my ills did you?
I've probably reached for 30mg of instant release morphine by then for my everyday aches and pains.
I may be cursing my stomach either wishing my laxative would make my bowels work or because it worked too well.
I'm probably debating how I should treat my nausea: should I take my ativan and risk falling back asleep for the rest of the day or should I take my marinol or cesamet and just get high?
It all depends on my goal for the day.
I really miss the days I could stumble out of bed and great the day fresh eyed and bushy tailed with a shower and coffee.
Who knew I could ingest so much before 7:30am, and these are just my morning meds.
My lovenox is a subQ shot I save for later to keep from clots (specifically PEs) from forming. I truly believe that getting the PEs diagnosed was an act of divine intervention.
My Lovenox and mepron are what I call "never ever meds," as in I must "never ever" miss them.
Oops, silly me, I've forgotten about my eye issues, which require me to remove the mucous from my lashes and try to milk the microfilaments from my eyes before I flush them with artificial tears each morning.
How could I have forgotten about that?
At least I don't have to prep for ten minutes covering my line just to get in the shower.
Thank goodness my bathroom mirror is only 4 feet away from where I sleep. I can't count how many times I pat myself on the back for being such as genius at the tender age of 20 and building a first floor master suite into our house.
And yes, folks, the above is only a list of my everyday routine.
Chemo weeks and emergencies present with their own obstacles and medications. Those weeks are special.