Whoa, what a week

Whoa, sometimes, I just don't know. I don't know how I ride this roller coaster and keep hold. I don't know how I've kept my sanity along with my health. Yesterday was national "Believe Day." I hope everybody can stop today and find something to believe in. One of the only ways we can stop fear of these diseases, or anything, is through control and education, through taking what those of us have gone through before and sharing it so others know how to cope and that it really is possible to handle, even if you lose your mind a little bit. I felt great last week. Better than I had in forever. Of course, I had some health care nussances hanging over my head. The plug in my left eye to keep it moist had fallen out leaving my left eye burning and painful. I had called to request my handwritten narcotic script be mailed two days after I last saw my heme team. Well, I ordered something off ebay and it arrived from China, but I didn't get my damn scripts forcing me to ration and leaving me in pain. Then, Friday, my normal speed mom's life caught up with me (ie basketball games, christmas shopping, parties, etc.) And I spiked a temp of 101. That is a do-not-pass-go head straight to the ER fever. So I did....at 11pm. My sinuses had been causing me misery, my chest xray showed up clean, I gave blood cultures and FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER was discharged home with sinusitis and oral antibiotics!!! Hoo-ra! My numbers were stable. I went home to sleep and sleep and sleep. I woke up to take my medicine. I. Woke up to try to rally for J's holiday party, which included waking up, shooting out of bed, throwing up and taking handfuls of meds in hopes we could attend. J decided we couldn't. I was ready to do whatever he wanted. Instead I fell back asleep and woke up sunday to a call from the ER saying...... I had a blood infection and needed to come in for IV antibiotics. UGH. I thought about packing. I dressed comfortably. I did bring some of my jewelry making hobby toys to pass the time, but not enough, since like most reasonable prudent ER personnelle, they decided to admit me for a blood infection. So yes, I'm back in the hospital. My first culture from fri grew staph from my central line. The blood drawn peripherally yesterday (that's from my arm) also grew staph, making it much less likely something contaminated my culture. I'm now on vanco in the hospital, wishing I was home to perfect my presents, tree, make cookies, etc, but at leadt I had a few weeks to enjoy the season preparation as the should be. Much love to all, and please, for me, especially today, remember it's all the little things that make life worth living.