YAYAYAYA!

From Tuesday:

Its been 4.5 cancer filled years of steady self inflection that I can finally claim some of cancer's good graces. 

Yes, Gifts bestowed on me by a diease. 

What may these be? 

The power of clarity in decision making, The power of faith always and the power to prioritize. 

I feel with those pieces together I am a stronger woman. 

There is good news from yesterday! 

My cancer is unchanged! I think it may have shrunk!!

 I am taking two weeks off from chemo to recover from the holidays. 

I've decided to keep my central line. I was a big pain in the ass yesterday. 

That's what happens when I'm over drugged. 

I said yes to getting my line out and on the table I decided no. 

I'm confused. 

Last week everybody treated my line like a lifeline that I could make myself comfortable through by injecting myself or getting fluids at home, yesterday its coming out. 

I wanted it out bc x does and it interferes with showers.

 Beyond that, it's like a security blanket. 

I was anti-chemo yesterday whether my cancer had grown or not. 

My bone marrow can't handle it. I have a productive cough. 

The neupogen worked. I have a white cell count of 14000. 

Can't remember much else, which is too bad. 

I robbed marc and anna of giving me some good news. 

Even better: I'll be able to see x's first basketball game weds.

 We'd decided I'd be wheeled with IVs and all if it came to that. 

Some things can't be missed. 

He's upset enough I not only haven't been helping but I haven't gone to all the practices. Missing games is crossing a line. 

Yayayay, Now I have some time to seriously get into christmas!