Baldies' Blog began originally in the UK by a 26 year old journalist with a blood cancer on a mission to inform the world about bone marrow donation.

He has since died, and I took on the cause of making cancer care more transparent for everybody.

Cancer is a disease that will touch everybody through diagnosis or affiliation: 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed and 1 in 3 woman will hear those words, "You Have Cancer."

I invite you to read how I feel along my journey and
how I am continuing to live a full life alongside my Hodgkin's lymphoma, with me controlling my cancer, not my cancer controlling me.

I hope that "Baldies' Blog" will prepare you to handle whatever life sends you, but especially if it's the message, "You Have Cancer."

Get a playlist! Standalone player Get Ringtones

Friday, September 25, 2009

I'm being out blogged.

I am being out blogged. . . . .

By a thirteen year old!

Not that this is a competition,

But she is just so damn cute.

Now I’m going to promote her,

It’s Tavi ie

I have to say our niches are far different

Hers is haute couture fashion

And mine is . . . well. . . less fantasy more slap you in the face with the reality of life

But I can still think she is cute.

At least, I know, that I have WAY BETTER friends.

Thanks to everyone who has helped feed me, clean me, drag me out of my hovel during these past couple weeks that I let my depression win out and decided that my fight with cancer was really OVER and nobody had admitted it to me yet.

I am doing better now.

I won't even pretend that I have been able to even cope a little bit with my disease without the huge support system I have.

I do know that despite some very terrible health problems, I am a very lucky girl. Just look to the right. Thanks ladies.

I find it helpful to look at where I have improved from at my lowest point.

My lowest point during my pneumonia I could barely roll over.

I laid quietly, immobile, just trying to make the pain going away and keep my breath.

I am better.

Now, I am going to start denying that terrible day ever happened.

I’m going to focus on the fun I did have, what I can do.

I can contribute significantly to Xander’s life despite my illness. I still help coach soccer. I still taught him to tie his shoes. I still cooked him blueberry cure all muffins.

I can still write, even though I am just barely getting back to the point where I want to.

I was seriously depressed.

That means I enjoyed NOTHING.

It’s called anhedonia for all you who want to know big vocab words to sound smart.

It is hard not to be depressed when you have a line protruding from your chest, hurting, reminding you at every turn, “You are sick. You have cancer. You need a hard core broad spectrum anti-biotic or you’ll die. And, oh yeah, we’re going to put this line in the most uncomfortable inconvenient spot ever, your son’s snuggle spot. Every time he goes to rest his head on your chest you’ll jump in pain. NO SNUGGLING FOR YOU!”

Thank goodness that is gone. The port is intenal now. I am going to learn to love it.

We’re going to have one serious, loving, long term relationship.

But I can live and express myself through my writing. I can still hope to make this process easier for others in the future.

I can engage in the political debate and rhetoric regarding health care reform.

There are a lot of “I Cans” here.

I think I’ll be okay.

I’m so lucky to have friends who saw the writing on the wall and refused to stop calling, coming by, or bringing food.

You are all incredibly special, even if you're not in the pictures, you know I love you. You're my inspiration for getting through.

You reminded me the world is great and that it’s worth living in.


Anonymous said...

You are awesome girl ... your courage is amazing ... & you surely are making a difference. You go girl!!

linda keenan said...

hillary - this is an obama email. they are looking for homemade video stories on the need for health care.
if you are interested, i think you could make a really powerful video. since i worked in tv, let me know if you need help. (we could edit for you etc..) i could also post it for you on the huff post.
- linda k.

First Name --

In many ways, the fight for health insurance reform comes down to a battle over information. The more people know about how broken the system is and the President's plan to fix it, the more they want change. But there are an awful lot of lies to cut through, and a whole lot of truth to get out.

So today, we're proud to announce a powerful new way for you to help: Organizing for America's Health Reform Video Challenge.

This is your chance -- you ingenious, insightful, funny people out there -- to make a 30-second ad telling the story about why the status quo has got to go, or explaining how the Obama plan will ensure we get the secure, quality care we need without breaking the budget.

The top submissions will be voted on by the public and a panel of experts, with the winning ad aired on national television. This is your opportunity to add your voice and creativity to the debate, get some great exposure for your work, and make a huge difference.