Today is day three post chemotherapy, and I am doing well enough to get sidelined by an article on msn.com about famous people's last words.
Check it out. I found it quite amusing http://spotlight.encarta.msn.com/Features/encnet_Features_Columns_default_article_LastWords.html?GT1=27004
I see myself as dying silently, quietly, kind of like I came.
That's just my guess.
I have managed to get X up, fed, and to school each morning before passing out for a nap from 9am to 1pm.
I have been listening to my body.
It has been saying sleep, and sleep a lot.
It is also saying, you liver is very unhappy. It's screaming at me actually. I'm going to see my chiropractor today, and if that doesn't alleviate my suffering, I'll get ahold of someone on my team to figure out why my l iver is torturing me. It breaks trough the extreme doses of morphine. It wakes me up and impairs my ability to breath.
I want to learn to love and live in harmony with this organ, but it's certainly acting up.
I'm happy that J brings X home after work so I can here their laughter as they play soccer outside or wrestle in the livingroom.
Now, X and I can connect as we see fit, as we're able since there is an adult in the house supervising.
In many ways, I am a child. I can think and reason like an adult, for the most part, but the fatigue is just too much.
I did ask my NP the otherday if anyone had ever considered prescribing low dose amphetamines for fatigue.
I was told yes, they prescribe ritalin, and it's not so uncommon.
I wanted to holler, "hey, what about me? Give a girl a break I'm tired."
But then she reminded me of the scary cycle of addiction that can be brought forth due to this addition.
I'll probably wait or save that option for special occasions.
Baldies' Blog began originally in the UK by a 26 year old journalist with a blood cancer on a mission to inform the world about bone marrow donation.
He has since died, and I took on the cause of making cancer care more transparent for everybody.
Cancer is a disease that will touch everybody through diagnosis or affiliation: 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed and 1 in 3 woman will hear those words, "You Have Cancer."
I invite you to read how I feel along my journey and
how I am continuing to live a full life alongside my Hodgkin's lymphoma, with me controlling my cancer, not my cancer controlling me.
I hope that "Baldies' Blog" will prepare you to handle whatever life sends you, but especially if it's the message, "You Have Cancer."
3 comments:
I liked this best: "Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough." (Marx)
I'm thinking of you, listening to you daily. Your sense of humor in even the most dire situations is what I love about you. You kick ass, girlfriend.
xoxo
what valerie said...
and ummmm, my vote is ritalin all the way! i resisted getting meds for sleeping for the fear of addiction and it was the best thing for me!
I don't know if this is good medical advice or not, but Dad had major liver pain that he got somewhat under control with fentanyl lollipops. Not even sure how they tasted. But they did provide some fast relief. Thinking of ya, sending soothing thoughts your way.
Love,
Katie St. M.
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