Sunny Day

I would like to start this out with a little request.
I’d appreciate if when I get sick I’m not referred to in the PAST TENSE.
For obvious reasons, this really creeps me out.
I’m pretty sure we all understand why and thanks.
I am FINALLY feeling better.
Yesterday, I was able to get out of bed and get dressed.
I did shower, but that didn’t go so well.
Warm showers cause vasodialation which causes a decrease in blood pressure.
I really didn’t have much blood pressure to start with. That was one of my problems on arrival, but it had been steadily going up and had reached my normal 100-110/50-60.
I was doing well until I hoped in the shower.
I felt a little light headed, the hallmark of hypotension, but then instead of fading to blackness and forcing me to sit my stomach started knotting.
The pain was making me hunch over and I thought I was going to throw up.
I got myself out and onto the toilet to sit, but time didn’t make it any better.
J helped me from the bathroom into bed.
Eventually time did make me feel better. I really think my body had a serious reaction to my blood pressure lowering.
This morning that didn’t happen.
I was able to enjoy my entire shower. I’m up out of bed clean and moving around getting ready to eat.
I really can’t say enough how helpful it is for healing to get out of bed, shower, and change into regular clothes during a hospitalization.
The johnies put you in “sick mode.” They make you feel like a patient that should just lay around and not move.
This is not the best mentality to promote healing.
I actually think I did as well as I did last week because I was always moving. Weds. in the afternoon prior to being hospitalized X and I were outside waking around in the trees. He was picking a site for his fort where he would live during the day. We were getting it all set up so he could be comfortable.
I never sat down to mope and acknowledge how terrible I felt.
Children with cancer have a much higher cure rate and I always wonder if it’s because of their ability to just roll with the punches. They receive their treatments, feel a little miserable, and then jump up to start playing again.
This is what I try to do. Children are resilient. Great lessons can be learned from them.
The plan is still up in the air.
There is a possibility of release today with IV antibiotics.
It’s still up for debate how long I will be taking the vancomycin, but it’s not up for debate that I will at some point be going home with it.
I’m not feeling so confidant about today. I think I feel well enough; however, if I were kept for more observation I could receive my chemotherapy tomorrow (on schedule) instead of waiting for Thursday due to the holiday.
I know this may sound crazy, rushing into chemotherapy after such a problem with an infection.
It has to be kept in mind that my cancer was so diffuse that alone could have killed me. My cancer alone can kill me. I can’t be waiting or skipping doses allowing the disease to possibly adapt and reoccur through treatment.
Treatment goes on.
If I stay I’ll receive treatment tomorrow and hopefully be released tomorrow evening or Tuesday, depending on what type of access I have for my IV antibiotics.
It’s iffy if I can use my mediport. Cultures look like it hasn’t been infected!
I may be able to keep my mediport.
If I don’t I’ll be headed to have a PICC inserted before going home on Tuesday.