How I do What I do

I’m starting to get questions about how I do what I do or did what I did.
I thought I’d explain today, because the fearless female I am, exists in everyone.
I have always really believed that God will protect me. I know that I will never be put in a situation I can’t handle. I will always have enough food to eat and a roof over my head. I just might have to struggle for it.
It never occurred to me to share my ideas without the backing of some serious education. I thought my actions needed validation.
I have a lot of schooling. I’ve learned a lot of lessons. It just didn’t some from college.
In July the trial drug I took put me in a fog so deep I could barely talk. I forgot weeks of my life. I felt like I was losing my mind. I thought I was going down.
I figured out if I was checking out all my experiences, ideas, and theories were going with me. I wasn’t going to go out like that.
I lived my life the way I have for a reason. I just don’t know what it is.
You can call it brave, fearless, or just straight out naïve stupidity from a youth with an immortality complex.
Most people do not scare me.
I have had bad things happen to me.
My car has been broken into. . . . . . . . in Claremont.
My house has been robbed. . . . . . . . in Charlestown.
My wallet has been stolen. . . . . . .on Fifth Ave in Manhattan.
I have crossed the street at night to avoid a crackhead. . . . . . . in Westchester.
Nasty people did steal the seat I was after on the subway when I was 8 months pregnant. . . . . at the Wall St. stop.
In Brooklyn, a man took my hand and gave me his seat. Good people gave up their seats in Harlem and the Bronx too. This never once happened in the City.
They didn’t judge me because I looked thirteen. They didn’t try to make my life more difficult than it was. They probably knew what it was like to grit your teeth and play the cards you are dealt.
Bad things happen everywhere, but good things do to. People forget to look at both sides.
The homeless are the first to tell me to pray and that I am being looked out for. These people see more, hear more, and feel more than most I have ever met. They will tell you and not ask for anything in return.
In the Burroughs, in the streets, or in the subway I don’t see as much of the air of entitlement that plagues America. I see less people looking down their noses and pointing fingers at others.
Don’t get me wrong, it still happens.
These actions are the ones that have always hurt me the most.
I have been traumatized by what I’ve seen, but my worst experiences were not in the barrio.
I did, naively, think I could leave the past behind unscathed.
This can’t happen. It can’t happen with abuse, with cancer, with accidents, or death. Any life altering experience will stay with you. It’s up to you to do with it what you want.
It’s true, thanks for letting me know F, that “you can take the girl out of the hood, but you can’t take the hood out of the girl” (or ya can take tha gurl out tha hood but ya can’t take the hood out tha gurl, depending on where your from).
What I’m saying is fear stops great things from happening.