Baldies' Blog began originally in the UK by a 26 year old journalist with a blood cancer on a mission to inform the world about bone marrow donation.

He has since died, and I took on the cause of making cancer care more transparent for everybody.

Cancer is a disease that will touch everybody through diagnosis or affiliation: 1 in 2 men will be diagnosed and 1 in 3 woman will hear those words, "You Have Cancer."

I invite you to read how I feel along my journey and
how I am continuing to live a full life alongside my Hodgkin's lymphoma, with me controlling my cancer, not my cancer controlling me.

I hope that "Baldies' Blog" will prepare you to handle whatever life sends you, but especially if it's the message, "You Have Cancer."

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Friday, December 5, 2008

Legalzoom.com

I had forgotten I did this.
I think it’s a necessary step for everyone with children and assets.
It should be a requirement on intake for cancer patients.
It’s my will and durable power of attorney (POA).
Durable Powers of Attorney can be done for free through the hospital. The paperwork will be provided to you.
If you are interested, but confused about the paperwork, just ask and it will be explained by your nurse, case manager, or social worker.
This piece of paper dictates who will be your health care spokesman if you are not able to.
It is a difficult decision. The decision is comparable to who will acquire your kids if anything were to happen to both parents.
I did not pick the people who I thought loved me the most or were closest to me.
I wanted someone who could have perspective and could remember what I wanted in the face of their own emotions.
I required someone who could overcome their own feelings and allow me to die.
I don’t want a repeat of Terry Schiavo and have my husband and parents fighting over my shell.
Also, for the record, in this instance, I want my husband to move on. Do not make him a media martyr for finding someone else. He should do what is best for him and our son without people pointing fingers and judging.
I picked a long time family friend and my old primary care provider to be my POA. Then, I got worried he wouldn’t be available or he wouldn’t make the decision I wanted. I do want him to be the final call, since his opinion is respected.
I named my husband as a co-POA. He is not my primary. I think it would be wrong to burden him with that decision. I worry about how other people may react if he decides to pull the plug in accordance with what I want.
I don’t want him blamed and shunned for my decision.
I did not pick my parents for fear I would be kept on a vent forever.
I picked people I hope would have the strength to let me go when the time is right. That’s how I went about making a decision as difficult as this one.
As far as a will, that is what Legalzoom.com is for. It’s an online site that works like a discount lawyer. You answer a series of simple questions and you receive your will in the mail.
I think this cost us $169 for me. I love this idea. I couldn’t afford a lawyer. I needed a will. Problem solved. I have heard that I can adjust the will with handwritten notes as long as there is no other writing on the paper other than my wishes. I’m not sure if this is true.
I didn’t put that my parents have a right to my son if I were to die.
I will say it now, my parents should be free to exercise their rights as my son’s, Alexander’s, grandparents in the instance of my death.
I think J would keep in touch with them either way, whether he was legally inclined or not. Just to be sure, I think I’ll make it legal.
It’s always best to be on the safe side. For people pinching pennies, legalzoom.com is a viable, discounted option to guarantee you are legally prepared. It also does revocable trusts and other processes.
Take a peek.

2 comments:

Legal Einstein said...

Keep your head up. Many people do not know the value of having a will, but as you said in blog it's always good to be on the safe side.

Thanks for sharing I have a lot of reading of the Baldie Blog to do to catch up. Wish I had some great words of encouragement, but for today I will say thank you for blogging, you never know whose life you affect by being an open book.

Anonymous said...

I think you really want NH specific documents, dear Hillary, especially for something this important. I will get you the "friend and family" discount, if you now what I mean.... Your mom knows where to find me. Denise