NEW DISCOVERY!

I found a WHOLE area of Bean town with women like me!!!! I found them on Newbury St.
I didn’t even know Boston had an area like this!
I am loving the stores. Thank you Lamour (or C. Love) and Venetia for telling a girl where to go.
Clearly, I was only allowed to window shop. The loop hole in my restrictions is I am allowed to be outside. My new favorite pass time is people watching.
Window shopping is just depressing, especially when all the windows boast signs saying things like 60% off or CLEARANCE.
Clearance is probably one of my favorite words in the English language.
I do “prescribe” to the idea that looking good outside helps you feel better inside, and whoa, if any group of people need to feel good on the inside it would be us patients.
I have joked before that the only thing good about “this body” is what it looks like outside. If you’ve seen some of my nasty diagnostic scans or been privy to seeing some of the side effects I’ve experienced, you know what I’m saying.
My personality, my essence, or me, myself, and I are a separate entity from this idea, at least in my mind. I’m hoping people like my essence.
In accordance with my limitations, I do people watch with my mask and gloves on, but Boston is cold. You’d be surprised how warm those “accessories” keep me.
I never ran around NYC with a big sign that said “I have cancer” (i.e. my mask, gloves, and buzz cut), but in B-town, people are so supportive.
I’m really liking it there. I had some wonderful women give me some great supportive remarks and stories. If I could hug people (I can’t really due to restrictions and germs), I would have been showing some love. I shared my site, and I really hope they are reading!
If I was capable of creating my own tears (not so easy as a side effect of my transplant and GVH), I would have gotten teary eyed.
This discovery is exciting MOSTLY since for the first time since last March I felt almost NORMAL!
I felt like one of the girls again.
I had Brynn and Nicole in tow, and we were out on the town, behaving like twenty-somethings should.
This is a LUXURY I have missed so badly. I don’t have words for how hard it is to see people living life and not be able to join in. I don’t do the “outside looking in” thing very well.
I really didn’t know what I had until it was gone.
But it is coming back!! I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’ll begin easing up on my restrictions in the middle of January.
It is difficult to get up on facebook, see all the parties and events happening that I can’t attend.
Let me give you a resounding RSVP for this summer, but keep the invites coming. It makes me happy to live vicariously through my friends, and now that good things are coming in the future.