Personal Tour

My mom may have an anxiety attack reading this. I am so sorry to do this too you.
But I had a lot of fun so I’ll tell you about it. The following is why I'm generaly not allowed to hang out by myself.
Coming to DF today was an adventure all in itself.
Around 2pm, J and I decided that the weather was bad, rush hour was coming, and J had promised X he’d be home tonight.
I’d finally gotten comfortable. I’d suffered in some severe pain, and was prescribed 10, if not 15mg, of Oxycodone for pain. I took 5mg of marinol, so maybe I could eat. I was also given 0.5 of ativan for my nausea.
I was settled in the clinic, in my nice cozy bed, with all sorts of nurses around so J went off to head home.
I was going to sleep.
Apparently, I forgot I was sleeping in the outpatient clinic. Someone came in and told me I had some other tests and procedures. I’d need to go to radiology for a chest X-ray and then to respiratory for a nasal washing (By the way, DF has a great method for nasal washings. It should be replicated everywhere. I’m willing to bet they get something other than saline for testing).
I thought, if I can navigate Manhattan’s subway system, I can navigate the halls of DF a little intoxicated. I just never toured the subway intoxicated AT ALL.
I did lose the car once in NYC. It was my responsibility to remember where we parked. I remembered between 32&33 off whatever, but when we got there it looked “different.”
My girls and I looked up and down the street, only to find the car exactly where I said it was. It looked “different” because I was drunk.
A big group of Canadian soccer players were to blame for that episode.
I don’t recommend doing what I did. It is “unsafe” and “uncommon” on many different levels. But I was sans caretaker. It’s been really hard not to be able to exert my autonomy. Due to my pain, weakness, confusion, memory loss, medications, etc., I understand why people may be concerned.
So, happy comfortable me who isn’t allowed to be alone very often thought a walk was a GREAT IDEA.
I got detached from my fluids, and I headed on my way. ALL BY MYSELF.
Dope-de-dop-de-doh. I was just looking around and somehow made it to radiology.
When the tech got a hold of me, I couldn’t hold in the giggles.
He said, “Oh no. I’ve seen this before. Who’s taking care of you.”
“I’m all by myself.” I said like a proud little kid who escaped the guidance of those more responsible.
“Ooooookkkkaayyy, you come sit here.”
He was very good telling me EXACTLY what to do very SLOWLY.
He got me through the CXR, then somehow, I managed to get my clothes back on, grab my things (hopefully all of them), and start on my way to respiratory, perma-grin and all.
I wish I had my video camera so you all could have taken the tour with me.
All the little turns and the hallways brought a different thought. For example, “do you think people get mugged here” and “Was that the way, something tells me it’s this way.”
I go with my instincts.
I made it to respiratory and apparently had a reasonable conversation.
Reasonable enough that I got out of there without being “accompanied.” I passed the guard, a pretty southern belle who calls me “love” and better be packing a tazer. I don’t know how she thinks she’ll guard without one. Maybe, with her charm.
I got back to the clinic and crawled into bed, no problem, except all the exertion had put me bag in pain. It was worth my little escape and some fun.
Mom, I’m sure it was perfectly safe. I never left the hospital. These spots are all places I’ve gone before. Just thought I’d have a little fun before my admission. People, try not to do this. Remember, do as I say, not as I do.